The Convict

Thursday30 November 200619 Comments
  • Season 3 : Episode 9
  • First aired on November 30, 2006
  • Written by Ricky Gervais and Stephen Merchant / Directed by Jeffrey Blitz
  • Recap by Jamie Harris
  • Discuss this episode at The Watercooler, and remember to submit your vote at OfficeTally.

Under the influence of Martin’s questionable past, Dunder Mifflin gets cast in the light of prison with mostly unfavorable results. Morale reaches what could be an all-time low and a second Stamfordite concedes defeat to the volatile regime of Michael and his incarcerated doppelganger. Meanwhile, Andy sets his sights on the receptionist and Jim sets things right with a return to his mischievous roots.

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Staff Additions

Thursday16 November 20063 Comments

I’ve got some very exciting news for you folks today. First of all, I’d like everyone to join me in welcoming the wonderfully talented Jamie Harris to the writing ranks here at Northern Attack. Jamie, who many of you may remember from her impressive Office desktops, will be handling the recapping duties in my absence starting with this week’s episode, The Merger. Jamie is as talented a writer as she is an artist, a fact which I’m sure will become immediately evident once you’ve had a chance to read her excellent Diwali recap. To the rest of you who offered to help with writing duties: your generosity is much appreciated, and I will be sure to look you up in the future if I need help once again.

On top of this already fantastic news, I’d like you all to say hello to your new forum moderators: Nathan, J1, Catherine Zeta-Jones, and Mixed Berries. They should be familiar names to those of you who frequent The Watercooler, an all-star team of sorts. Look for the bright MOD badge next to their comments, and please show them at least as much respect as you show me (and more, if you’d like).

I’m looking forward to having all of you fine folks on board.

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The Merger

Thursday16 November 200618 Comments

The world of Dunder Mifflin gets turned on its head when the long-anticipated merger goes from rumor to reality and the refugees straggle into Scranton not unlike sheep to the slaughter. Or, to hold to Michael’s more romantic analogy of marriage, well, let’s just say the matrimonial bliss doesn’t outlast the coupon-laden welcome wagon. It’s a tumultuous day for all concerned, as expectations and intentions are met with varying degrees of failure. New lines are drawn in the sand and very few survive the day unaffected. R.I.P., Stamford.

Continue reading The Merger

Help Wanted

Sunday12 November 2006Comments Off

I’m looking for a few volunteers to assist with moderating duties at The Watercooler. I’m seeking individuals who already spend a decent amount of time on the boards, and thus wouldn’t be taking on much of an extra time commitment in accepting the added responsibility. Those of you who are interested, please e-mail me at with your name, forum username, and when you tend to hang out on the boards (weekday mornings, weekday evenings, weekends, etc.).

I should stipulate that these are purely volunteer positions, and I will treat them as such. Obviously I’d like to get people who are willing to put in the effort, but I also realize that you’re volunteering your own time, and I won’t be holding you all to any ridiculous standards. I’ll happily accept whatever help you’re willing to provide. Thanks, everyone.

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Friday3 November 200624 Comments

I regret to announce that I will be taking an indefinite hiatus from writing episode recaps starting with Diwali. I’ve spoken of my oppressive schedule on several occasions, so I won’t trouble you with the details. Suffice it to say that although I was able to squeeze in time for the first few recaps of the new season, the demands of my work, and to some extent, personal, life have now caught up to me. I can no longer offer the quality of insight this show deserves and that I expect of myself, and thus I am suspending the recaps now before they descend into mediocrity.

I will continue to post news updates and link submissions to Northern Attack as well as new episode threads to The Watercooler, which I will continue to moderate. In other words, NA will remain fully active with the exception of the weekly recaps. Granted, those recaps are probably what drew many of you to NA in the first place, and I am very sorry that you will have to do without them, but it is my hope that you will still be able to derive intelligent and worthwhile discussion from the forums. I am extremely proud of the folks that have gathered here at NA, and the quality of conversation that occurs here reflects that. I’d like to take this opportunity to extend my personal thanks to a handful of dedicated regulars: Loaded Teapot, garbagethrower, Nathan, Lori, Brian, Two-Hole Punch Jim, Plaid, PurseGirl, Jenna Loves Josh, ferd farkel, Catherine Zeta-Jones, and ddker. The Office community is fortunate to have you, and I am certainly grateful for your contributions.

Of course, you’ll still have OfficeTally, Give Me My Remote, Life In The Office, and LiveJournal, all of whom do a much better job of reporting the news than I do, as well as plenty of other resources at your disposal. I’m not certain when the recaps will return, but I’ll make sure you know it when they do. As a final note, my sincerest thanks go out to everyone who’s stuck with NA over the past year — I appreciate your support more than you’ll ever know.

Continue reading Hiatus


Thursday2 November 200625 Comments

All of that diversity training pays off when Michael accepts an invitation from Kelly on behalf of the entire office — albeit under the conception that it is a chance to don costumes and celebrate a Hindu Halloween. Instead, the lavish Festival of Lights becomes a setting of triumph for some, disappointment for others, and the worst kind of disgrace for one man who will never learn to not play with fire. Meanwhile, two-thirds of the Stamford sales staff enlist the help of alcohol to burn the midnight oil, thus ensuring “one cra-azy night” all around.

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