Angela Asks

iPod Giveaway Tuesday4 July 2006

Wow, great job with last week’s question, everyone. I had a tough time making it through all of your comments, I was laughing so hard. Phenomenal work, guys, just awesome stuff. We’re only a few weeks into the contest, but this much is certain already: tanster and I are going to have a hell of a time trying to pick a winner out of all the brilliant entries.

Keeping in line with our rich tradition of celebrity involvement, this week’s question arrives direct to you from Angela Kinsey, who plays Angela Martin (aka Destroyer of Souls) on The Office. Angela would like to know the following:

If you could follow one Dunder-Mifflin employee around on the weekend, who would it be and what do you think you’d witness?

Nice one, Angela. You all have until approximately July 11 at 12:15 AM PDT to submit your entry (be sure to follow the contest rules). Have a safe and enjoyable Fourth of July.

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Sitting at home with Roy as he watches his football games, and other assorted sports shows on ESPN. She quietly tries to draw whenever she can, and hopes that Roy takes her out for dinner one night on the weekend, even though she knows thats never going to happen. Nor can she talk about work-related things, or things that generally interest her because Roy doesn't like to converse with her often since he is so in tuned on his fantasy football team. So, Pam will have a quiet weekend, just like she always does. With or without the sex that Roy insists on having.

1Posted by Matt on July 4, 2006

Dwight, hands down (though the temptation to keep Michael company is hard to resist)

First we'd go out on his beet farm, so he could show me his totally awesome self-made paintball course and the impressive collection of high-scoring targets he's practiced on over the years. Then we'd harvest some fresh beets with Mose, and argue over who gets to use the bathroom first.

If Dwight was on duty that weekend as a volunteer sheriff's deputy, we'd go ride through the greater Scranton metropolitan area to see if we could sniff out any perps, or ex-girlfriends. Dwight would use his awesome karate skills to defuse a tense hostage situation at the local Kwikimart, rather than resort to his spud-gun (which he left in the car by mistake, along with his keys. We'd have to call for back-up so he could get back into his own cop car).

Finally, we'd share a romantic dinner with Angela, who is Dwight's unofficial "girlfriend". At the restaurant, the waiters would start coming for Dwight because they're actually ninjas in disguise, but he would be more than capable of handling himself. He might even go after me, because I'd perspire and that's one of the signs he highlights as indicating when someone is lying. I would have been in on it from the beginning, of course.

2Posted by Two-Hole Punch Jim on July 4, 2006

Angela's Weekend at Dwight's
Angela spends most of her weekends playing with her cats, baking brownies, and going antique shopping with her aunt. On Sunday mornings, she goes to church and after that meets her singles group for coffee at Starbucks or lunch at Chili's.
This particular weekend is different...
She's going away to the Schrute Family Beet Farm to see Dwight.
She is bringing her cats with her because she's never left them alone for a whole weekend & doesn't trust that anyone could give them the care and attention that they need.
She drives out to the old 9 room farmhouse & Dwight is thrilled to see her. He can't wait to give her a tour of his abode including his collection of armoires that he inherited from his "Granmutter" and his terraniums filled with a variety of snakes and other reptiles. Angela likes the first, but is not too sure about the latter as one of the snakes looks like it could swallow a cat whole.
She suggests that Dwight take her out on the tractor to show her his beet farm. He thinks that she's really interested in his crop. He talks about irrigation techniques and the soil content, blah, blah, blah. Boring! That's not why she came out here. She has something else in mind & she'll have to take matters into her own hands...
After a passionate overnight with Dwight, she gets ready to pack her bags and head back to the city. She can't find one of her cats...
Uh oh...

3Posted by K on July 4, 2006

His roommate is usually out with his girlfriend so Jim has the place to himself. So he likes to unwind by watching cable TV & eating ham & cheese sandwiches. He "accidently" watched the Fugitive one evening. He can't believe what a really good movie it was... like really, really, really good.
If it's nice outside, he might play some B-ball with his friends. But if it's not, he likes to go to the outlet mall & hopefully run into Pam and her mom. At night, he'll go out for drinks with his friends at Poor Richard's or some other Scranton hangout.
What he mostly does on a typical weekend is think about Pam...

4Posted by K on July 4, 2006

Kevin, definately. After a nice dinner cooked by Stacy on Friday, we'd sit around and play cards or something with Abby, and then when she went to bed, I'd stay up until things got awkward between Kev and Stacy. The next couple days would bring band practice, which would be the highlight of the trip. Scrantonicity can sure raise the roof! Thankfully, I got my own guest bathroom.Oh, we'd also play the M&M game-Kevin wins (go figure). And afterwards, we could just watch bowling.

5Posted by Gretchen on July 4, 2006


We'd spend a lot of time out doors, including paint ball and hunting. He'd attempt to teach me how to hunt, but would get very frustrated after I didn't learn quickly, so we'd soon go to paint ball, so I wouldn't actually have to kill any animals. He is much better at teaching paint ball.

6Posted by Liz on July 4, 2006


Pam works late on a normal Friday. Roy and Pam go out to eat after she gets off work. They spend the night together, although all they do is eat at the resturant and go home. They go home after the dinner because Roy wants to have sex and Pam feels obligated because he takes her out to dinner. They still have time to kill, so Pam draws and Roy watches TV. Pam tries to go to bed, but Roy still is watching TV and it makes her mad. On Saturday, Roy's brother and his friends from work come over for some fun. They play football and watch sports all day. Pam is really bored, and decides to go to visit her mother. She talks with her mother about things including Roy, Jim and work. This situation lasts all day long. Roy wants to have sex when Pam gets home, but she fakes a headache and goes to bed. Both Roy's and Pam's family comes over on Sunday and eats together. Both parents like each like and their kid, but Pam hates Roy's family. Pam draws some more and looks at the brouchure that Jan gave her about the grahpic design program that she has secretly kept from Roy. Each of the family's go home at night. Pam must come up with another excuse because Roy wants to have sex again.

7Posted by Derek on July 4, 2006


I am desperate to see what keeps Pam with Roy. I don't think Pam is stupid or unintelligent, and I have to believe she stays with him for reasons other than sheer habit (and, apparently, really good sex), so there must be parts of her relationship with Roy we are not seeing. If I could shadow her for the weekend, I'd try to keep an open mind, take copious notes, and report back here to tell you what I witnessed. I might find out that there is absolutely nothing more to Roy than exactly what we've seen, but a little part of me hopes I'd see more and gain some deep insight into their relationship. And if it turns out he's the simpleton we believe him to be...well, then, we can start working on our "Dump the Loser" campaign here at Northernattack.

8Posted by Loaded Teapot on July 4, 2006


I mean he steals, he knew the exact kind of marijuana in the picture, he has to be the most interesting to watch and probably the only one who wouldn't care that someone was following him around. (Wouldn't care, completely forget, what's the difference?) I would probably witness some stealing going on, and who know's maybe he gets together with some friends that he knew back in his Grassroots days and has some kind of party. Also, I'll finally get to witness exactly what it is he does for the Dundermifflin business.

9Posted by Jen on July 4, 2006

So, after Creed Bratton's 9-to-5 shift at Dunder-Mifflin paper company, I trailed him down the streets of Scranton in hopes of finding out more about his life. First, he stopped at a nearby Soup Kitchen, his nostrals flaired, his hand already reaching for a thermos in the trenchcoat he was wearing. I sighed, letting my hands fall to my chest, feeling my heart flutter. What a generous, kind man! Helping the homeless. The hungry! A few moments later, however, he reappeared with the thermos filled of hot pea soup. He downed some of it and smacked his lips. Yum, I guess. Man, did he move fast.

Using my super sleuth skills, I followed Creed down the street, hiding from fake potted tree to fake potted tree. He next stopped at a buisiness that had obviously been closed for quite some time. It looked like a disaster. From seven to eight thirty, I watched Creed take a nap on a pile of old lumber. He held his thermos like a teddy. It was kind of weird. He woke up singing "Sha-la-la-la-la-la, live for today
And don't worry 'bout tomorrow, hey, hey, hey." Man, I hadn't heard that song since the late 1960s! I guess that iron lung affected his brain somehow. And what we he doing sleeping HERE?

I was contemplating this when he spotted me behind a broken shelf. He quickly shoved the dripping thermos into his coat and ran into the street. As I was chasing him, he ducked into a ski shop, grabbed one of their black face masks and smashed clear through their front window. I grabbed some skis and followed him, trying to avoid poking pedestrians. That's when I saw the gun. He had a long, pink squirt gun aimed at my head as he ran backwards. He ran up to a bank, squirted the security guard in the face and started super soaking every customer inside. I was tangled in my skis and some dog's leash, but I did see him come out with three or four brown potato sacks marked "$$$" on the front. I never saw him again. That is, until I hid outside of Dunder-Mifflin the next day around 5. His pants, I could tell, were bulged. With cash, I mean. Or soup. Who knows? That's what Michael said.

10Posted by Carly on July 4, 2006

It was a dark night and I was tailing a perp by the name of Michael Scott. A concerned friend who identified himself only as "Dwigt" called me in to check out what was shaking after he found out Mr. Scott had been sneaking some wacky tobacky in the parking lot where they worked. I followed Scott's silver Sebring convertible, I thought he might have suspected I was shadowing him because he turned sharply into the Chili's parking lot about a block from his office. I waited while he went in, but after about 12 minutes I got impatient and decided to take a look at what was going on inside. As I passed the light-wood facade of the Chili's door my eyes went straight to my man. He was doing what they used to call "dancing," shaking his hips to some mambo number, pointing at unhappy diners keeping their heads down just trying to get through their Awsome Blossoms. Scott immediatly noticed me, what with my inconspicous trench coat and feather-clad fedora, I must have been a site to see among the jeans and t-shirt crowd. He yelled "Hey look it's Columbo everybody come on! A little bit of Columbo in my life.." My cover was blown, the jig was up, this case was as gone as that man's self respect, I was in a tough spot. I did the only other thing I knew how to do other than detectiving...dancing. I was lousy at both (you don't stay in Scranton, PA if you've got any kind of talent) but I did it anyway. I danced up there with that doped up, balding small businessman, and I had the best damn karaoke night of my life.

11Posted by Nick on July 4, 2006

Friday night after work Michael Scott goes to Scranton High for his weekly improv group meeting. When he arrives he finds the group just getting finished. Apparently they changed their meeting time and no one told him. Michael then goes to see a movie, but all that's playing is Over the Hedge, which he already saw. He decides to call it a night and when he gets home he finds the new issue of MAD Magazine in the mail. He reads that until he dozes off to sleep.

On Saturday Michael calls Carole to ask if she and her two kids want to go with him to Claws 'N' Paws that afternoon. They go and everything is going great until Michael gets too close to one of the porcupines and gets a bunch of quills shot into his foot, forcing them to end the trip early.

On Sunday Michael drives to Dickson City to take his mom to church. Afterwards he takes her out to eat at Chuck E. Cheese's. Michael then heads back to Scranton and spends the rest of the day playing poker online so that he'll be prepared for the next time he faces Toby.

12Posted by Jason on July 4, 2006

He would jump into his trusty reliable automobile and head home for a relaxing bubblebath. He would then invite over a dozen or so of his closest friends for a jam session to end all jam sessions. Keith Richards makes an appearance and rocks it out in a duet with Creed. After everyone is gone home he curls up in his newly ironed pjs and curls up in his cozy bed.

13Posted by sara on July 4, 2006

I would follow around Jan for the weekend, mostly because that would mean I wouldn't have to hang around Scranton, but also because we see so little of her on the show. I think I would see her doing lots of average things such as grocery shopping, but because she is a lonely woman who longs for a family, she might hang around the fruit section a little too long, hoping to meet someone. I think she would call a couple of women she knows, trying to go out on the town with them, but would be rejected because they aren’t really friends. All of her friends were friends of her ex-husband, so she no longer sees them. She would think about calling Michael and then curse herself out for it. The last I would see of her would be through her window, eating Ben and Jerry’s out of the container in her pajamas while watching “Desperate Housewives.”

14Posted by Alison on July 4, 2006

I lead a pretty boring life on the weekends, so I would choose someone who gets out more than I do. Believe it or not, this would be Dwight. Dwight has friends he goes drinking with, and he also plays quite a bit of paintball, which I would enjoy. While out at a bar, I’d notice that Dwight gets ribbed by his friends just like he does by Jim and Pam at work. It bothers Dwight a little, but he is used to it and secretly enjoys the attention. How do I figure that out, if it’s a secret? Well, Dwight becomes more likable when he’s had a few beers—much like he does when suffering from a concussion—and tells me “irritation is the sincerest form of flattery” while we wash our hands in the bathroom. Funnily enough, his friends stop harassing him when he becomes the “nicer” Dwight. I start to think that Dwight could go farther in life if he became a functioning alcoholic. I then feel so disgusted with myself for thinking such a thing that I go home.

15Posted by Sean on July 4, 2006


As I peer through the window at 8am, I witness him getting dressed for his day. He tries different outfits to send different signals (a suit- "respected and wealthy"; baggy clothing, beanie, clanky jewlery- "pimp/gangsta"; etc.). He models each outfit as if he’s on a runway. Finally, at 9:30am, he makes his decision ("sexy" jeans, a loose shirt reading "FBI: Female Body Inspector").

He leaves his house to go have breakfast. People there seem to know him- and avoid him. He tries the "chicken breast" joke on the waitress. She does not seem amused.

He goes home and watches "Who's Line Is It Anyway?" for hours (he owns them on DVD) and laughs himself silly until it is 8pm. He sprays on some cologne (Rite Aid's "Night Swept") and drives to a local club. He sits at the bar and attempts picking up women. In about an hour, he is talking up a young girl. Soon, security comes to drag her out because she is underage. That's right: Michael Scott almost commit a felony!

Michael goes home alone at 10pm, puts on his pajamas, and goes to sleep. He has a teddy bear named "Petey".

16Posted by Eden on July 4, 2006

Since I've always been a pretty 'tame' person it would be quite interesting to spend a weekend with Meredith! The weekend would kick off friday night going to bars and getting quite drunk to forget about the week of work. Saturday would consist of waking up somewhere, figuring out how to get back home and nursing a hangover before going back out again at night. Saturday night would probably be a bit more wild and involve some sort of wet t-shirt contest. Sunday morning after getting up there would be a bottle of wine to drink for 'communion'. Of course sunday night would consist drinking again, but this time at home so that she wouldn't have to worry about getting home since work is the next day.

17Posted by Denise (ddker) on July 4, 2006

Okay, guys, I just spent the last weekend watching Creed. Who is insane, by the way. It started off normally. He got into his van and drove to his studio apartment. There, for about three hours he continued to play his guitar. However, after the third hour, he started dissapearing into the bathroom and I swear one of the times I saw smoke coming out of the slit in the door. His friends kept asking him questions, ya know, and he'd get about half through the sentence and then just stop. Here's how the converstations went:

"I used to play in the play in a band. Those were the good ol' days. I remember one time I got so. . ."



Then he went to some soup kitchen for hobos. He'd get one bowl of soup, go back to his seat, and eat it. Then he'd take of his tie and wait for a new server to come along. THEN he'd go up and pretend to be someone else. He did this about six or seven times and one of the times he started speaking Chinese. I also witnessed him stealing a few coins and a girly mag out of some hobos bumb-bag. The rest of the weekend he just wandered aimlessly around. It was like watching some five-year old.

18Posted by Michele on July 4, 2006


i'd love to see what toby does to unwind after a long day with michael. since he no longer has a wife to go home to, it would be interesting tos ee what he does do. maybe every other weekend he has his daughter sasha with him, and on the other weekends maybe he spends typing up the complaints that Dwight has him file against Jim each week. either way, toby deserves an weekend of peace and quiet after a long week with Michael and his constant negative attitude towards him

19Posted by Heidi Sylvanowicz on July 4, 2006

The Dwight Schrute Weekend of Excitement.

I was scheduled to meet up with Dwight after his job ended at Dunder Mifflin at 5pm on Friday. When I showed up at 5:04pm, I was greeted with a stern lecture on tardiness that lasted much of the car ride to his home. We arrived at his nine-bedroom farmhouse within the hour. The evening was spent watching the "Firefly" marathon on SciFi.

The funnest part of the weekend was probably Saturday afternoon when we got to use Dwight's crossbow range. Of course, when I say "we" I mean mostly Dwight. He didn't trust my ability to shoot a crossbow and figured I would break it if I used it too much.

And Sunday, we picked beets. We picked beets the whole day. I left that evening.

He only made three phone calls the entire weekend. Two were to Michael (he called him to wish him "Good night" on Friday and Saturday) and one was to someone who he denied was Angela (even though he refered to the caller as "Angela", like, ten times).

20Posted by Neil on July 4, 2006

Todd Packer

Monday-Friday from 9-5, Todd Packer pretends to be something he’s not. His act is all just a façade so people don’t find who he truly is. Saturday morning, Packer wakes up and fixes himself and his mother (whom he still lives with) breakfast. After eating, he places a call to his life partner, Chip (yes, Todd Packer is gay) and they drive to an outlet mall to purchase the latest sweater vest collection. Upon returning home, Chip and Todd go to a poetry reading at the nearest coffeehouse where Todd surprises Chip by reading a poem he wrote about his love for Chip. The happy couple return to Todd’s mother’s home afterwards and fall asleep while cuddling. Sunday morning, Todd, his mother, and Chip attend church. Following church, Chip goes back home with the promise of seeing Todd next weekend (Chip understands that Todd needs to put on a charade). Packer then takes his mother to Denny’s for a wonderful Sunday brunch. After brunch, Todd and his mother play a rousing game of canasta, and then both turn in early; Todd needs all the rest he can get to pull off his he-man machismo early Monday morning.

21Posted by Lacee on July 4, 2006

Not that I would ever actually follow anyone home, but... the last time I was in Scranton, I passed by Dunder-Mifflin's office and watched Jim pull out in his car, so I tailed him until he got to his house. I saw, from across the street with my binoculars, that Jim spent alot of the night playing playstation by himself. I noticed that he made himself a grilled cheese sandwich at around 8 o'clock, and popped into his dvd player the copy of "The OC"'s season one which Pam "forced" him to borrow from her last week. He checked his email, and then went to bed. Pretty tame stuff, but it was a Monday!

22Posted by Ari on July 4, 2006

Angela, no doubt. After a crazy week at my office, it would be nice to have a relaxing weekend doing boring stuff. I would help with the gardening since she has to have the most perfect looking house on the block. Then it would be off to dust her Precious Moments figurines becuase those little kids have to look perfect. We would cap off the week with a trip to church on Sunday followed by brunch where Angela would let her hair down and get drunk from a few too many Bloody Marys. Oh, but I couldn't report on that part -- it would totally ruin her reputation.

23Posted by jenny on July 5, 2006


I tried to follow Ryan home from work Friday, but he peeled out of the parking lot so fast I could barely keep up with him! All I saw was Kelly running after him in a cloud of exhaust. I finally caught up with him at his apartment, where he downed a few beers to take the edge off and met up with his buddies at a party. But it was hard to relax with the nonstop text messages from Michael, wondering what he was doing and if he’d like to see a movie tomorrow. On Saturday, Ryan went for a run. When he got home, Kelly was waiting for him on his doorstep. Foiled again! Somehow he ended up agreeing to dinner at 7:00. At dinner, she chattered nonstop as Ryan tried to drink enough not to care. After repeated requests of “Does this dress make me look fat” and “How do you feel about commitment,” Ryan snuck out the back, sped home, locked the door and threw his phone in the toilet. Sunday was spent trying to study for an exam, as Michael threw pebbles at his window to get him to come outside and play.

24Posted by lindsay on July 5, 2006


After leaving the office promptly at 5:00 on friday, Kevin makes his way to a local adult book store. Soon after he heads over to his house where the "Scrantonites" are impatently waiting for him to practice out in his garage. Practice goes into the wee hours of the night. Kevin pretty much stays inside with the shades pulled for the rest of the weekend with the occasional pizza delivery person coming to the door.

25Posted by Chris on July 5, 2006

I would follow Jim. Jim is a simple guy, in other words, he's boring! After work on Friday, Jim stops by "House of China" to pick up some take-out for him and his roommate. When he gets back to his place, Jim hears moaning and groaning coming from his buddy's bedroom and trys to ignore it. Saturday Jim sleeps in (he told me he had a dream about Pam last night.) He does some chores, like laundry and a few errands. Saturday night he meets up with friends for a few drinks. On Sunday Morning, Jim heads up to Scranton High for his Men's Basketball League Game. Sunday night Jim decides to watch a Trading Spaces marthon on TLC and will tell Pam all about it tomorrow morning in The Office.

26Posted by Joanne on July 5, 2006

Hey everyone! My name is Brian Schrute. I live in Amish country just outside of Lancaster, PA. (Interesting tidbit about me, my father's name is Brian Schrute, my grandfather's name: Dwide Schrude. My uncle is none other than Dwight Schrute!)

Anyway, I just saw uncle Dwight last weekend! He came to visit my family with his lady friend, Angela! We had a blast! We played paintball on my parents' beet farm! We went to a real gun show! Uncle Dwight even helped me tune up my '79 Camaro! It was great to meet first she seemed very judgemental, but after a while she really loosened up!

27Posted by Brian S on July 5, 2006

5:35 p.m. – Friday afternoon. Jim Halpert leaves Dunder Mifflin, stopping in the parking lot to share a few more moments with Pam.

“Hey, you doing anything fun?” she asks.

“You know, there’s a Project Runway marathon on that I’ve really been looking forward to…”

Pam smiles. Two days without that smile.

As Roy pulls up, Jim’s heart sinks. Again.

Halpert gives a wave and parts with, “Yeah, me and Heidi; gonna be sweet…” His smile slightly fades as he walks away.

Jim reviews his actual weekend plans on the drive home. Saturday: hoops in the park. Nice to have that to look forward to every weekend. Home, shower, then – oh God; yeah, the set-up. (Jim’s friends have made it their mission to find him the perfect girl. They are not usually remotely close with their picks.) We’ll see about this one…what’s her name? Jenna? Gina? Well, anyway, maybe the concert will be good…

Jim’s mind wanders.

Ok…Sunday…Sunday: helping Kevin move. Maybe a game or two of John Madden.

As Jim pulls up to his place, grabs his briefcase and heads inside, he can’t shake the uneasy, empty feeling that he has left something important back at the office.

28Posted by garbagethrower on July 5, 2006

I meet Michael at the Office Friday, half an hour before quitting time so he can show off his new "best friend" to everybody at the office. The only one who seems the least bit interested is Dwight, who keeps trying to get himself invited to join us when Michael rattles off our plans for the weekend. We end up going to Chili's for Awesome Blossoms & drinks Friday night. Michael has one too many shots, so I end up driving his convertible home. I wake up Saturday morning to the smell of bacon frying on the George Forman grill and am surprised at how good it really is. He takes me on a tour of the sights of Scranton, which includes Ryan's apartment. We have some real New York pizza from Sbarro's for dinner as we watch a hockey game and wash it down with some beers. After the game we go check & see if he got any hits on his dating website. Seems "Little Kid Lover" is not very popular with the ladies. We also have a good laugh over the messages Dwight has left on Michael's voicemail and make a few prank calls to him. Michael does a great Michael Jackson impersonation & actually has Dwight believing him for a minute there! Aaahhh good times. Sunday morning and another batch of Forman bacon to start out the day. Michael shows me his grill mark scars from the time he stepped on the grill, which must have really hurt. We decide to have a "Lazy Sunday" like those kids in the SNL skit Michael loves and even tried to make up our own song, but it didn't turn out very well. I head back for home early so I can beat the traffic and swear I see Dwight's car parked down the street from Michael's, but it must be my imagination.

29Posted by Tracy on July 5, 2006

Kelly Kapour
The documentary footage only shows one, annoying side of this Dunder-Mifflinite, so I set out to produce the real "Kelly Kapour Story Hour." When she notices me following her, rather than calling the cops, she invites me into her apartment. In her bedroom, I find a small shrine dedicated to Ryan, including a lock of his hair (I'm too afraid to ask how she got it) and the charred remains of Ryan's infamous cheese pita. As she checks her e-mail, I notice her Ryan wallpaper. Kelly smiles, not from embarrassment, but from pride. Finding no e-mails from Ryan, she leaves multiple messages on his cell phone. Beside her computer monitor is a picture of a pretty young woman who resembles Kelly. I realize it’s her dead sister. She talks a mile a minute only to fill the uncomfortable, lonely silence of her life.
When Ryan fails to return her calls, Kelly, unshakably bubbly, picks a metallic pink halter top off of the floor. We head out to Scranton's hottest nightclub in her neon green VW beetle. I join her for a seven and seven with 8 maraschino cherries, sugar on the rim that keeps us buzzed and dancing all night. It's surprisingly tasty! We bond over swapped boring work stories.
Sunday night, still recovering and needing to wake up early for work Monday morning, we slump on her couch with Ben & Jerry's Chunky Monkey in hand and enjoy "Desperate Housewives." In this ultra-girly moment, without provocation, she admits to a minor crush on another officemate- Dwight. She sees something "deep" in him and can relate to his fondness for "Everybody Hurts."
After spending the weekend with Kelly, I gained a new friend who is as sweet as her favorite drink. She even says I'm like a sister to her.

30Posted by Jill on July 5, 2006


Friday night: date w/ Kelly where they go see "The Lake House" (Kelly's choice). He agrees because he doesn't want to take her to dinner before and feels kind of guilty about it. She loves the film - he...doesn't.

Saturday: sleeps in and goes to the gym. Works on a paper for business school, and reads latest business book on "Web 2.0" companies. Hangs out with friends at a bar that night, avoiding the many calls from Kelly throughout the evening. Gets drunk and sort-of hits on a girl at the bar, feels bad, and ends up going over to Kelly's later.

Sunday: hungover, he spends the morning watching TV and then finishes his paper for school. Buys groceries for the week, does laundry, irons some shirts and finishes the weekend off with back-to-back episodes of "Dirty Jobs" on the Discovery Channel which is the only thing that makes him feel marginally better about his temp job.

31Posted by amywink on July 5, 2006

I was expecting a weekend following Kevin around to be pretty tame (other than a jam session courtesy of Scrantonicity of course) but it was actually a blast.
After work Kevin immediately went to play with the band. Practice lasted a whole 20 minutes before they got bored and decided to go to Taco Bell - Kev loves those Double Deckers. The band was pretty comical. The lead singer goes by Buzz, but Kevin said his real name is Carl and he only changed it to be more like Sting.
Saturday Kevin got up early and caught a flight out to Atlantic City. He heard they were going to close down the casinos and evidently there was a poker tournament going on: top prize $10,000. He spent the night at the tables and won third place, taking home about $1,500, resulting in free drinks for me!
Sunday Kevin flew back home where Stacy and Abby picked him up and he treated them to a meal at Chuck E. Cheese’s. Later Kev went out to Scranton High and hustled some kids at basketball. He won $5 so he went and bought some M&Ms to refill his jar at work.

32Posted by Jenifer on July 5, 2006

No question about it, I would follow Creed for the weekend. He may be the oldest employee, but I think it goes without saying that he's also the wildest! We'd go out to dinner at an expensive restaurant, order lobsters, steaks, the works, eat half of each thing, and then complain to the waiter that they're undercooked and we won't pay for it. Free meal!

Saturday would be more of the same, only with a Wendy's run at 2 AM. Sunday...well, we're basically hung over the entire day.

33Posted by Anth on July 5, 2006

Dear Scrantoner Editor,

The weekend of June 17th, 2006 I had the pleasure of hanging out with Michael Gary Scott the Regional Manager of Dunder-Mifflin. We met for breakfast Saturday with Mayor Chris Doherty at The Manhattan Bagel to finalize a few details for the upcoming Police Department Headquarters Dedication Ceremonies. Michael is featured on the Scranton website .
He is second from the right (you can almost make out an entire ear).

We then walked along the Lackawanna River’s edge feeding ducks. Michael states “This helps preserve the watershed and the ‘Circle of Life’ – Elton John”.

We then visited the Steamtown National Historic Site where we saw many locomotives. On the guided tour, Michael was very helpful by stating more facts than the tour guide. Michael obviously frequents here and many of the Mexican staff has endearingly nicknamed him “The Local Loco.” (He has the T-shirt to prove it.)

Sunday was spent at “Sunday in the Park”, an annual family fun day in Scranton. Although not officially a volunteer, Michael was more than happy to face paint (adults as well as kids) and make balloon animals!

What a great weekend.
What a great humanitarian.

Your BFF,

M.G. Scott

34Posted by Joseph on July 5, 2006

If given the chance then I'd have to follow Dwight. Just my luck, there's a big sci-fi convention a mere three states over. He has a spare costume so we are both able to dress up; he as Gimli from Lord of the Rings and me as Chewbacca. I like the costume because it completely covers my face, and three states isn't enough of a comfort zone for me to feel assured that I won't bump into someone at the Convention. We get home Sunday in time for his meeting at the dojo, and I am amazed by his skill as he pummels a tall drink of water named Marta into the ground. He gets his weekly haircut and we call it a night. As we say our goodbyes my comrade moves into place about 20 feet away. I see Dwight's ears perk up as freduardo snaps his bolt action rifle into place, and as I signal to fire Dwight grabs me and uses me to shield himself. "I knew the whole time," he says dropping me to the ground. My friend comes and gets me afterwards, I knew it would be just the way Dwight would want it to end. And the gun had blanks in case you were wondering.

35Posted by Paul Herberger on July 5, 2006

A weekend with Kevin

The days are filled with dirty jokes and crude remarks by Kevin (not unlike at work but without Angela to shut him up) but are kept lively with his amazing basketball skills which he likes to show off to everyone. Of course we had to attend a band practice which lasted for 4 hours because wedding season starts soon and they are hoping to get a few gigs. He keeps me waiting for him with his frequent bathroom breaks. What you dont know about Kevin though is that he is the office gossip! I pick up the scoop on Angela and her relationship with Dwight as well as Oscar's relationship and that fact that Toby stinks worse than Creed. All in all an adventorous weekend.

36Posted by JR on July 5, 2006

Following Dwight would go something like this...

As another Friday comes to a close at Dunder-Mifflin, Dwight rushes to his 9-bedroom farmhouse to make dinner for his girlfriend. Something with beets would be the perfect dish! Everybody loves beets! Dinner made, Dwight slips on the Birkenstocks reserved for special occasions. He does a quick check of the premises, in search for pesky teenagers. Finally she that Angela?! My suspicions are confirmed. After dinner, they both sit down to watch Battlestar Galactica. At the end of the night, Dwight reluctantly agrees to take Angela to church on Sunday (like gas ain't free!).

The next day, Dwight mentally prepares himself for karate class. As senpei, he has many duties to perform at the dojo, like cleaning the bathrooms. Dwight, now a purple belt, challenges the younger white belts to matches, making some children cry. They are weak. After karate class, Dwight heads off to play laser tag with his team. Combining his karate skills with his paintball skills, Dwight leads his team to victory and they celebrate with drinks at Poor Richard's. Tired, Dwight heads home and finally falls asleep to the sound of Lord of the Rings on tv.

37Posted by OfficeAddict on July 5, 2006

I would follow Bob Vance from Vance Refrigeration.

On Friday night he takes Phyliss out to dinner at a nice restaurant. The hostess call out to them "Table for Bob Vance, Vance Refrigeration!" and they go to their seat. Later, they go back to Bob's place for a nightcap. Phyliss picks up the mail for is all addressed to Bob Vance, Vance Refrigeration. Bob's two kids (from a previous marriage) are already both in bed...Robert Vance Jr. and Roberta Vance.

On Saturday morning, Bob calls his mother. "Mom, it's Bob Vance from Vance Refrigeration!" They have a nice chat.

Saturday night, he goes bowling with his team. As they enter the building, they always see the big league trophy that they won last year. On it is inscribed all the names of the team: Phil Frigidaire, Ken More, May Tag, George Eldridge (his friends call him G.E.) and Bob Vance, Vance Refrigeration.

38Posted by Jinx on July 5, 2006

Phyllis, sweetie that she is, heard I was going to be all alone this weekend so she invited me to come spend it with her. On Friday night, Bob Vance of Vance Refrigeration joined us for a nice home-cooked meal that Phyllis had prepared. Bob had to leave early since he was working the next day (owning a business is hard work). We proceeded to spend the night watching Home & Garden television, while Phyllis was knitting a baby blanket for a neighbour. On Saturday morning, we went grocery shopping, and spent the afternoon making cupcakes and brownies for a charity bake sale that was to be held after the Sunday church service. After coming home from a successful bake sale on Sunday, Phyllis, Bob, and I went to visit Phyllis's mom, who lives in Wilkes-Barre. We spent a wonderful afternoon drinking tea and having a few laughs. It was a most delightful weekend with the sweetest Dunder-Mifflin employee.

39Posted by Genevieve on July 5, 2006

Starting Saturday morning, actually afternoon, Kevin begins to wake up around noon-thirty. While he eats his lunch he enjoys watching whatever is on Comedy Central and breaks out laughing every time anyone makes fart or sex jokes, on cue.
Around 1:30 he called up his girlfriend Stacey, however in the middle of the phone call he remembered he had band practice at 3 and needed to get ready. Though he did invite her to the concert later that night, but at the same time Stacey remembered her dog ate her keys and was basically stranded or something...
Band practice was exactly how you would expect. Everything that could go wrong did. At one point the power went out and Kevin had to sing over his drums, since that was the only thing that could be heard. That was ridiculously hilarious.
Since they don’t play live that often they were all pretty nervous, and after having such a horrible practice, weren’t prepared at all. Halfway through their set the guitarist started smashing his guitar and using it to destroy the drum set…something that they planned to happen at the end, and when they had money to do so…what a show!

40Posted by Adam on July 5, 2006

This weekend I was invited to an all girl’s weekend hosted by Pam. I was excited, thinking about everyone shopping together, watching a movie, our faces dotted with Noxema as we sipped homemade drinks in our Pajamas.

As we got ready for a night of dancing, Pam came out in all black attire, makeup, and 5 inch spiked boots. We went to a club I’ve never heard of and it wasn’t long before she took to the stage. The song "She Works Hard for Her Money" came on, and she grabbed the microphone. At the very end, cracked this whip so close that I almost had a much shorter hairstyle.

As the rest of us stared in awe, a Motley Crue tune, "Girls, Girls, Girls" blasted, Pam threw herself on the stripper pole and was as limber as Gumby himself. She cracked the whip again, this time cutting a man’s cigarette cleanly in half.

I ran out of the club wondering what happened to the girl we all knew and loved. Later, when she called me and asked what happened, I told her how I was shocked by her behavior. Her explanation:

Why not? I Am The Office Whipping Girl

41Posted by Renee Lee Greco on July 6, 2006

No doubt, I would follow Kelly. Kelly seems to be one of the most friendly and social people in the office. On top of that, she's one of the most unique ones. I would probably just hang back and watch Kelly in action. I think she'd probably sit around and fret about what is going on with Ryan for a bit. As well, I could see her checking out one of the few trendy clubs in the Scranton area.

42Posted by Deron on July 6, 2006

My target left the office complex and made for a conspicuous silver convertible, tossing fast food wrappers out the window as he put the ragtop down. A smooth customer this Agent Michael Scarn, corporate stooge at a paper company by day, rogue assassin by night. My job: take him down before he kills again. People like that think a gun is the most exciting thing they can bring to a scene.

I trail him first to an improv class at a local school and nearly intervene in what looks like a mass killing before I realize he's acting. The instructor takes away his invisible guns. Next stop, Chili's, the watering hole of choice for cold-blooded killers, no doubt. Scarn knocks back two fried onion concoctions and several colorful umbrella-topped drinks before heading back to his office. Must be a night owl, this one.

Security's tight at this complex, name badges and everything. I’m biding my time when headquarters calls. The witness we’re protecting — code name Toby — has been eliminated. I realize Scarn has given me the slip when a lanky German beet farmer smirks at me while driving off in the convertible. Damn you Michael Scarn!

43Posted by Brian on July 6, 2006

As a fly-on-the-wall, I'd go over to Jim's to see what he gets up to on the weekend. Jim's a mystery to me: is he an active, gung-ho guy, or passive and indecisive? I would expect he's a bit of each.

He seems like a bike rider to me, with his long legs; and I remember some bike-related art in his house. But I think he also does a lot of sitting around, hanging out with his housemate Mark.
We know he spends some time watching junk TV and playing poker with the guys.

I'd really like to be in on the card game; I think he'd be most at ease in a situation like that - joking around with friends. He's certainly told his friends about his Office life. He simply MUST share Dwight and Michael moments...with the expected results: dis-belief, horror and amusement.
His friends all agree he's insane for breaking up with lovely Katy, who really seemed to dig him. And, even though there are no Todd Packer-types in the bunch, he doesn't share all his thoughts about Pam with them (they wouldn't get it).

44Posted by DanBoy on July 6, 2006

When Pam learned that I needed a place to stay for the weekend, she immediately invited me to stay with her. Our mutual friend had warned me about Pam’s fiancé. He was kind of a jerk and would probably hit on me at some point. I was glad he wasn’t anywhere in sight when I arrived.

Pam and I spent Friday evening talking and laughing over dinner. She raved about her graphic design internship, but after only one mention of Roy, I wondered if things were strained between them.

After a fun day of shopping on Saturday, we relaxed over a light dinner. I admired Pam’s green teapot. “Thanks,” she said and then paused. “My friend Jim gave me that last Christmas.” She paused again and then said, “You know, I haven’t talked to him in over a month and I’m going a little crazy.” That was the start of a long, complicated story that came spilling out.

“Wow,” I said.

“Yeah,” she replied. Then she twisted off her engagement ring and placed it on the table, where we both stared at it. It was almost as if its beauty had immediately diminished in the shadow of the green teapot...

45Posted by Kristen on July 6, 2006


He'd probably want to relax and watch some movies or some tv. Catch up on some sleep. Perhaps play a prank on a friend that includes teddy bears, laser beams, and pillow cases. And contemplate being a superhero and saving Pam from evil and winning her heart.

46Posted by Jason on July 6, 2006

On Saturday morning we would see Kelly sleeping in until late morning and then going shopping with some friends at the outlet mall for a new dress ("kind of low cut at the top to show something, but not everything") to wear on her date with Ryan that evening. She has a pretzel from Aunt Em's at the Food Court for lunch. Ryan picks her up at 7:30 and innocently asks how her day was. She relates in excruciating detail her trip to the mall, lunch, etc., talking all the way from her house to the restaurant through dinner to the party they are attending. Sunday finds Kelly with a free day as Ryan has a "special project" to do for Michael. She watches a lot of made-for-TV movies on the WE channel, especially The Royal Wedding and The Secret Life of Princess Di.

47Posted by Thirsty Babies on July 7, 2006

Ok, this one kind of the last challenge. In a different universe, one without Pam, I would pick to spend the weekend with Jim. In the current universe, I still pick Jim, but I would spend more time trying to convince him to tell him how he feels and build their relationship.

48Posted by 2' Closer to Copier on July 7, 2006


After the drudgery of work, on Friday evening Creed takes off straight from the office. He jumps on Interstate 81, and heads north for the weekend. About 3 hours later, he arrives at his monthly destination of Mexico. Mexico, New York that is...

In Mexico, Creed loves to check in to Beck's the local sleezy hotel. He can usually catch a late night "B" movie on the TV, then doze off to the sounds of the drunks stumbling out of the Main Street Bar.

Early in the morning, Creed rises and escapes to the shores of Lake Ontario. It doesn't take him long to find his old friend, Dusty. Dusty is a Canadian with a hook up. Dusty is actually Dustin R. Hollinger, the youngest son of one of the wealthiest families in Canada, eh. Dusty is also Creed's long time supplier of the best marijuana. Creed cannot get a better supply of top quality weed in all of New England. Dusty has been using his family's 82' Viking yacht to ferry large quantities of marijuana to the US from Canada since the early 80's.

Creed makes this weekend trip on the second weekend of the month. Once in a great while, especially during the cold winter, he loves to stop by the Bridge House Museum in Phoenix, NY, and try his hand at lifting an item or two. It's there that Creed's childhood friend, Steven Carter works. Steve is the master theif that taught him everything he knows. The goal is to get at least one item out, before Steve even knows he's there.

By the time Creed arrives back at home in Scranton, he has had one packed weekend. Quite often, Creed has been known to call in sick on Monday morning, after his long trip north. Of course, he soothes the sickness with a little sweet mary jane.

49Posted by Trevor on July 7, 2006

Okay, someone else essentially said this as well, but I really like to follow Pam. Mainly because I'd like to see Pam/Roy interaction at home.

What do I think I'd see? Pam tending to the house and Roy being somewhat attentive I suppose.

50Posted by Jill on July 7, 2006


His Friday afternoon begins with his daily ritual of checking for responses to the resumes he posted online. Anything would do, but sadly like usual, there are none.
He doesn't really feel like calling Kelly, but after six missed calls on his cell within two and a half minutes, he answers to tell her that he has to study for business school. She offers to help. Seeing no way out, he gives in. After a frozen-food dinner, Kelly makes flash cards for Ryan. As it turns out, there's intelligence behind the chatterbox-- her study tips really help. For the first time Kelly truly impresses Ryan. Before she leaves, Ryan gives her a kiss-- not their first, but both know that it feels special.

Saturday-- Ryan's business school meets to take their tests on Saturdays. He gets his results back, and they are his best yet. On an impulse he calls Kelly-the first time in over two months that he initiated the conversation- to thank her and invite her to celebrate. That night they go to Chili's where they each do their best impressions of Michael's performance at last year's Dundies. They go back to Ryan's and watch The Fugitive, which he borrowed from Jim. Kelly, of course, talks the entire time about her favorite Harrison Ford movies, which turns into her favorite movies, then somehow ends with her telling him that the thimble is her favorite Monopoly game piece. Ryan, though, for the first time appreciates and enjoys her eccentric conversation style.

Sunday—Ryan sleeps in. Sundays are usually all about trying to forget that he has to work the next day, but today he feels a little different. He’s looking forward to seeing Kelly. Of course, the dread returns when he realizes that Michael left him seven messages since Friday.

51Posted by Sam on July 8, 2006

As cool as it would be to play laser tag with Dwight, go hear Kevin’s band play, or shop at Target with Pam, I would definitely spend the weekend with Angela.
First of all, I would bring my cat to her house, so that we could dress up our cats in little outfits, serve them “tea” in tiny teacups, and pose them for pictures. We would make sure to get a cute shot to send out with our Christmas cards.
On Saturday night, we would double date with our boyfriends. While Dwight and my boyfriend discuss the final scenes of the Lord of the Rings trilogy, Angela and I would be sure to give dirty looks to women in the restaurant who are dressed like whores. We each have one glass of wine, but just one, because drunkenness is a sin.
The next morning, I would meet Angela at church, and afterwards we would go to her house for lunch. She makes her famous brownies, saving some to bring to work. We discuss our frustrations with work, agreeing that no one understands the importance of planning the details of a work party. After all, good parties don’t plan themselves.

52Posted by Stella on July 8, 2006

Although I might have a bit of fear for my safety while following this crazy character around for a weekend, it sure would be entertaining. Jim, Pam and the rest of the office staff would be great buds, but how could I dismiss the opportunity to NOT know what I would witness. However, I am sure a lot of watching the original Star Wars trilogy would be involved, and a family geneology lesson, and...maybe I should rethink my choice!

53Posted by Debra on July 8, 2006

A few weekends ago, I went to Scranton, PA to visit my fiancee John, who's doing sound for a TV documentary about some paper company (seriously, they'll make a documentary about anything!). Unfortunately, he had to work while I was there. The director wanted more footage of the company employees during their free time. Or something. So I tagged along--what else was I going to do?

John's crew was assigned to film the office's receptionist Pam, who's marrying a guy who works in the company's warehouse. I expected it to be fun, since I'm also preparing for a wedding, but it turned out to be...sad. I mean, Pam and Ray (?) didn't seem to have much in common or even spend much time together. Pam hand-addressed the invitations while Roy (?) was glued to the TV. Pam and her mom did lots of wedding errands together without any interest from What's His Name. It almost seemed that Pam was determined to get married because she had to, not because anyone wanted to.

John filled me in on some things that he and the crew had observed between Pam and another co-worker, Jim. Now that would be intriguing television...

54Posted by smart little cookie on July 8, 2006

I just have to say that Dwight Schrute was. . . AWESOME!! First, he got home and shot his bow staff at a chicken. Then he had dinner (he ate the chicken). Then he watched the Lord of the Rings, I noticed that he got all the words memorized. Then he watched Inuyasha. The next day he went to his martial arts class. After, he called Angela, and invited her over for some dinner, and maybe have some cookies later.

55Posted by Katherine on July 8, 2006

Angela heads home and feeds Sprinkles, Otter, Lucy, and Hamilton, admiring them as they chow down and wondering if she should switch to a vegetarian alternative. She’s pensive tonight; what happened with Pam's wedding has made her mull over her own future. She's baked special cookies for Dwight (oatmeal raisin, his favorite), but lately she's been thinking that she might want to save her cookies for marriage. She goes to bed early because tomorrow is the big charity food drive at church – she's the head of the planning committee. At the food drive, she admonishes people who bring in dented or expired cans and is dismayed that the decorating committee has decided on green streamers. That evening, Dwight comes over and brings a bootleg copy of Battlestar Gallactica, but Angela refuses to watch anything that’s “stolen.” They end up watching a marathon of Extreme Makeover: Home Edition and eating those cookies after all. In the morning, after a squabble about whether Dwight will accompany Angela to church (paintball tournament today!) Angela sings in the choir and is dismayed that everyone else is off-key. She spends the rest of the day playing games with her cats and rearranging her baby posters.

56Posted by Kristina on July 9, 2006

“Can you believe what she is wearing over there?” Kelly asks.

I‘m sitting in a coffee house, constantly reminded how thankful my parents must be that I left my valley-girl accent in High School. Kelly did not. I cannot help but smile at the way she dishes about the girl a few tables away.

Friday night we went to a local club that Ryan frequents. I admire Kelly’s technique of trapping a man. Ryan continuously looks uncomfortable, but Kelly manages to have him buy her several drinks and finds out that he plans to go to a Vodka Party the next night.

Saturday began at the mall in search of the perfect outfit. Two perfect outfits later, we were ready for the Vodka Party. After we arrive, Kelly goes straight to work. In ten minutes, she has her arm entwined in Ryan’s and he introduces her as his girlfriend. He visits the bar and returns with her drink. I count eight maraschino cherries.

My thoughts about the weekend are interrupted by Kelly, “Can you believe what a great couple Ryan and I make? Our babies are going to be so beautiful! And he’s going to be so rich …”

57Posted by Elizabeth N on July 9, 2006

I would follow Toby around for the weekend. Toby doesn't do much except drink, sleep, watch tv and read. He seems to wait by the phone a lot, and smokes odd looking cigarettes.

58Posted by Brian on July 9, 2006


Dwight has to work on the beet farm so Angela has Saturday all to herself. She gets up at 4:30a.m. to braid her hair. Breakfast is exactly a half cup of oatmeal and a glass of orange juice. After breakfast she reads from her bible and brushes all of her cats. At 6:00a.m. she goes for a 5 mile run. After the run she reorganizes all of her kitchen cabinets and pantry until it is time for lunch. After lunch she clips all of her cats toenails, cleans the litter box for the third time that day and cleans her bathroom. After dinner she allows herself to enjoy an episode of "Touched by an Angel" before bed at 8:30p.m. Sunday will be church and coupon clipping. She also promised Dwight she would give paintball a try. She is nervous.

59Posted by Tori Weber on July 10, 2006


He would probably just be home sulking in his house and he'd get up and go to his improv class.

60Posted by Joshua on July 10, 2006

i chose roy. lets just say i thought there might be a trip to the lake involved.

turns out, pam was planning for her and roy to go to the lake, but roy’s little brother called and wanted to shoot some hoops, so....

roy was at the park on mulberry street, but, with meredith’s kid jake. apparently, roy became jake’s “big brother” to see if he couldnt straighten him out. anyway, they played for a while and talked and by the time jake left, i’m pretty sure roy had talked him out of trying drugs. seriously.

when roy was leaving, he saw a dog and remembered it from a “lost” flyer. he bought it a couple hot dogs from a vendor, then set out to find the address on the flyer. walking along mulberry street, roy would say hello to passersby and once, he caught an old lady as she stumbled. no, really.

at the address, the door opened and to roy’s surprise, it was the purse girl, katy, saying, “roy! you found binkie!....” their eyes met. ...26, 27... 28 seconds passed. finally, he said, “here’s your dog. good seeing you.”

then, roy headed back up mulberry street. honest.

61Posted by ferd farkel on July 10, 2006

Friday night is as usual; she goes out to dinner with Roy to the Chili’s down the street from the office. They met some of Roy’s friends, so she ends up practically ignored, as all they talk about is sports. They go home, she goes directly to bed, and Roy ends up spending some time updating his ‘My Space’ page.

Saturday is a bust! She wakes up to a hung over Roy (he stayed up drinking and ‘surfing’ the web), so they cancel the trip they had planned up to the lake. She decides that it is a good thing, because this will allow her more time to plan the wedding, however she can’t stop thinking about the fact that Jim got stuck working today. She thinks of how bored he must be. After much thought she decides against calling him.

Sunday is very special; she gets to have brunch alone with her mom, Roy stays behind watching the basketball game. She talks briefly to her mom about the wedding, and the rest of the time she talks of the pranks she and Jim do at work. She goes home and after spending a couple of hours in her illustrations, she is ready for the Desperate Housewives re-run.

62Posted by Veronica on July 10, 2006

Michael Scott is the last to leave the office on Friday. In the parking lot he sees Jim talking on his cell phone and waves. Jim raises him hand and gets in his car as he notices Michael walking over. Michael nods; he has to get to improv class anyway. Stopping by McDonalds for a Filet-o-Fish, hold the bun, he heads back to his condo where he relaxes by watching a made-for-TV movie on his flat screen, though he has to turn the volume up because the neighbors are yelling again. Deciding that he’ll definitely not go to improv class if he can find something else to do, he gives Dwight a call to see if he wants to go out. Dwight responds that he has, “uh…clarinet lessons to go to” and that maybe they can hang out later. Dwight sure has been taking a lot of clarinet lessons lately. Sighing he calls Ryan, but only gets his voicemail. He leaves a message from “Tito.” Saturday and Sunday are mainly spent the same way, though he does get a call from Carol on Sunday to go to lunch with her and her kids. Not a bad weekend.

63Posted by Catherine Zeta-Jones on July 10, 2006


After a long day's work, Kevin meets up with the rest of Scrantonicity for practice in his garage. Since they've just been hired by Roy to perform and his and Pam's wedding reception, they need to add a few more songs to their set list. They plow through covers of "Roxanne," "Every Little Thing She Does is Magic," and Sting's "Fields of Gold" before parting ways for the evening. Kevin then unwinds with the foot massager he got as a Secret Santa present for himself.

64Posted by Percy on July 10, 2006

Pardon the potential dullness of this answer, but I'm going to fall into the David Brent camp and suggest that much of what we see is a stitch-up. I suspect that none of the Dunder-Mifflinites have exciting lives outside of work.

I would say that perhaps Ryan might be interesting to follow, but his business school classes probably take up a good deal of free time. I see Pam and Roy as a normal engaged couple. Jim as a typical guy in his mid-late 20s. Dwight as a loner who might actually be quite depressed, with Angela being what keeps him going. Michael as confused and going through a mid-life crisis.

I have to say Creed, not because I think he'd be fascinating, but because everyone else would be quite dull. In the end I would be disappointed, as Creed would be more sad than creepy.

What happens outside the office stays outside the office. There's nothing to see there.

65Posted by Plain White Jim on July 10, 2006

I would follow Pam and Roy around during the weekend to see how what their relationship is truly like. We only see little bits at the office, which may not show the true nature of their relationship. I imagine their weekends would be normal, like the average couple. Mornings would consist of watching the news or reading the paper. Roy watches some sports during the day and Pam attempts to watch, but usually goes and does errands for the week. Most weekends Roy goes out with his friends, but he always finds some time for Pam. They have brunch every Sunday with either Pam or Roy’s family. Pam is content with Roy, they enjoy each other’s company, but she often thinks of Jim and looks forward to Mondays.

66Posted by Amelia on July 10, 2006

I would choose Pam. Here’s a sampling of our day: Our day would start as Pam gets ready for work in the morning. I’d be interested to peek in her closet and see exactly how many sweater sets she owns. Then we’d drive to work (and spend most of the commute trying to get her Prism Durosport to work with the car adapter Roy just bought her). Upon arriving and getting settled at Dunder Mifflin, I would witness Pam get inundated with a ridiculous greeting/diatribe courtesy of Michael (Spamala! Spamalot! Monty Python. terrible British accent And now for something completely different I will get back to work! patented Michael “I’m so hilarious” guffaw. Blank stares from everyone else) After a few hours of some actual work (faxes. Lots of faxes.) I would help Jim and Pam brainstorm on what comeuppance we would serve to Dwight next. This delightful scheming would sadly come to an end when Pam has to leave to sit in on a conference call between Jan and Michael. And the hilarity ensues.

67Posted by Crystal on July 10, 2006

Each Friday, Angela Martin leaves Dunder Mifflin behind, as well as her strait-laced Christian persona. Reaching into her dark gray purse, she retrieves a small velvet box containing her engagement ring. With a smirk, she slips it onto her finger. Arriving at the large farmhouse she shares with Dwight, she's greeted with passionate kisses, a romantic dinner, engaging conversation, quality time with her cats, and an early bedtime.

On Saturday afternoon, Angela and Dwight make their bimonthly pilgrimage into New York City to visit Toys in Babeland, their favorite adult toy shop. After a quick dinner, they hurry home for a night filled with naughty pleasures. Angela dons her black leather dominatrix gear; Dwight obeys her every command. They enjoy several of the items purchased earlier in the day. As dawn breaks on Sunday, both are spent and fall asleep in each other's arms. By late afternoon, they awaken and do a few, previously neglected, chores around the house.

Monday morning, kisses and good-byes are exchanged and they drive separately back to Dunder Mifflin. In the parking lot, Angela slips off her engagement ring and returns it to the velvet box in her purse.

No one suspects a thing.

68Posted by Lori on July 10, 2006

A weekend with Kelly:

Kelly leaves work at 5:03, exactly two minutes after Ryan leaves. She follows him home, always sure to keep at least three cars distance behind him. She becomes distraught when she sees him leave his house at 8:00 with a "fugly chick."

Saturday is spent tailing Ryan again, with a break around three to go shoe shopping. She buys a pair of pink heels that are "totally Paris Hilton, but not in a slutty way."

On Sunday she has breakfast with her sister (no, her other sister. The one that's still alive). She doesn't follow Ryan today because it is Sunday and "holy and stuff."

Before she goes to bed she takes out a shirt that Ryan left in her car once, and smells it for five minutes before falling asleep.

69Posted by Lauren on July 10, 2006


On Friday night, Dwight would go drinking with his laser tag buddies and then go home to catch an episode of Battlestar Galactica. Saturday morning, he would go to a anime convention and checked out the new movies and comics. The next day, Angela and Dwight headed to church ("gas ain't free!") and then spend the rest of the day at Angela's house playing with her cats, at Angela’s request of course.

70Posted by HYP3R6IR1 on July 10, 2006

In an attempt to reclaim his former glory as a Lackawanna County Volunteer Sheriff’s Deputy, Dwight attends Saturday night Block Watch meetings, where he acts as the neighborhood’s lead investigator. I attend the meeting with him, where he displays the evidence of his current investigation, which includes a half eaten Milky Way and a baseball he found in his beet fields. He believes that there are teenagers who have been loitering on his property. He thinks they may be having sex in the fields.
After the meeting, we head back to the farm. When Dwight unlocks the door, we have to fight are way into the house because Angela’s cats are blocking the entrance. Dwight says I can watch TV in the den while he gives Sprinkles her hairball medication. Angela tends to become cross when Dwight does not follow her orders promptly. I know the job is done when I hear yowling, followed by spitting and a few unrepeatable words from Dwight. I fall asleep watching the Battlestar Galactica marathon, the only thing on his TIVO.
Sunday morning, Dwight, Angela, and I attend church. Afterwards, Dwight makes me walk home, stating, “Gas ain’t free!”

71Posted by Becky on July 10, 2006

Hearing rumors that he is a home body and never does anything exciting, Jim decided to try a little test run on that trip to Australia, so after work he caught the first plane out for LA.
After getting off the plane Jim went straight to Disneyland, went on a couple rides, had a really dirty conversation with Goofy, and got Pam a hat with Minnie Mouse ears on it.
Later that night, Jim wanted to check out the comedy clubs. After listening to a guy rival Michael’s comedic talents, some light heckling got Jim dragged up on stage to do his own set. The only material Jim could think of were all the pranks he pulled on Dwight with Pam, so that’s what he talked about.
After a standing ovation, Jim walked down the stage and was greeted by a young woman. She was looking for a comedian to host a show helping the most bored people in their workplaces play pranks on their bosses. Jim accepted, but with one condition. He made a quick phone call… “Hey Pam, I think you might finally be able to afford that Ipod...”

I’ve got dibs being on the first episode.

72Posted by Joseph on July 10, 2006

Meredith Palmer

Meredith might be the most interesting as well as the most boring member of the Dunder-Mifflin/Scranton staff to observe over a weekend. Interesting because of her habits, boring because those habits run in a vicious cycle. Fridays find Meredith going to her AA meeting in nearby Moosic. However, just talking about booze gets her all worked up. Lo and behold, what’s on the way home from the meeting but Birney Beverage. She loads up for the weekend, quite literally. An outside observer would see the living room light on deep into the night. Her son is staying at a friend’s house this weekend, so Meredith is up, staring blankly as the television blinks and flashes in front of her. Dawn comes, the tube is still on and Meredith is passed out on the sofa. It’s tiring just to see her go through this, but she manages to do the same again Saturday night. Thankfully, her son comes home on Sunday and she makes herself get back on schedule. She’s up bright and early on Monday, ready for another exciting week at Dunder-Mifflin.

73Posted by Brad on July 10, 2006

Ugh, the sun. It must be 90˚ out here, and I’ve managed to fall asleep on the hood of Dwight’s car. Speaking of, where is he?
Still no Dwight. Surely he knows the way around his own beet fields well enough not to get lost in them right? But he’s been gone since noon. Maybe I should call the police … or play Snake on my cell phone.
Two hours and one record-smashing Snake high score later, and I’m still one Dwight short. I tap the horn in Dwight’s car and listen out the window; a shout. I honk again, and a louder shout echoes back.
A shirtless, sun burnt figure appears over an eastern hill. It’s definitely Dwight, and he’s obviously pissed.
“I thought you had my back!” he screams at me. “We were partners!”
I have no idea what he’s talking about, and the expression on my face shows it. Dwight pauses.
“Not you, him.” He points behind me. I turn to look. There’s no one there. “Hop in, Trent, this place is about to blow.”
I vaguely remember Dwight mentioning his “well-aged” beet juice tasting funny, just as we hit “hyperdrive”.

74Posted by Trent on July 10, 2006

After “filing” that last complaint from Dwight about Jim, Toby made a run for the door, eager to take the weekend by the short and curlies. After taking his daughter to Baskin Robbins for a short visit, the party began.
Toby immediately sped off to Hooter’s as he tore his tie off from his collar. He slapped on some Blue Blockers and sang some Journey on the way. He drove to the Hooter’s on the other side of town (yes, there’s two), probably worried that he might run into Michael at the other.
After a night of beer and boobies Toby settled in with a classy porno titled “Just Another Day at the Orifice.”
Waking up Saturday, Toby popped in some Ultimate Fighting and Girls Gone Wild DVDs. Once it got dark he made a trip into college part of town, gawking at some young co-eds. He tried getting into a few frat parties but was unsuccessful.
Sunday was lazily spent hitting the bong he brought back with him from Amsterdam. He named it Delilah.
Monday morning came too soon, and Toby put on the mask of the HR guy at Dunder Mifflin Scranton.

75Posted by John on July 10, 2006

As editor of the documentary, I’m accompanying the camera crew as they film Michael Scott in what he calls his "nee-chee" this weekend. I’m not surprised that his condo resembles his office: not much in the way of actual furnishings, but plenty of knick-knacks and a framed directory photo of Jan in his living room, which he proudly points out during our tour. Friday night, he actually cooks his own salmon (who knew?) and eats it in front of the television. He leaves Ryan two messages that remain unanswered, and soon Michael is asleep on the couch, television blaring. When we meet him Saturday morning, he is en route to see his mother in Dickson City. He has breakfast with her at Perkins, and takes her to the pool, where he wears a Speedo and attempts flips off the diving board (unsuccessfully). They head to her house, where they spend the afternoon watching game shows on tv, cooking dinner together, and then watching “Driving Miss Daisy,” which Mrs. Scott has rented for this occasion. Sunday is spent in a similar manner, and Michael heads back to his condo Sunday night having left numerous unanswered messages for Ryan during the weekend.

76Posted by Allison on July 10, 2006

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77Posted by James on July 11, 2006