Comments on: Bizarro Dunder-Mifflin http://www.northernattack.com/archives/bizarro-dunder-mifflin/ Musings about The Office and other tales from the watercooler. Tue, 06 Jan 2009 02:06:19 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=1.5.2 Comment on Bizarro Dunder-Mifflin by: James http://www.northernattack.com/archives/bizarro-dunder-mifflin/#comment-1459 Tue, 04 Jul 2006 07:28:31 +0000 http://www.northernattack.com/archives/bizarro-dunder-mifflin/#comment-1459 Comments have been closed for this entry. Thanks for participating. Comments have been closed for this entry. Thanks for participating.

]]> Comment on Bizarro Dunder-Mifflin by: Allison http://www.northernattack.com/archives/bizarro-dunder-mifflin/#comment-1458 Tue, 04 Jul 2006 07:14:01 +0000 http://www.northernattack.com/archives/bizarro-dunder-mifflin/#comment-1458 Kevin Malone, 70s Porn Star Kevin Malone (screen name Kevin Malabone) received his big break in erotic films when he attended a pool party in the Valley at famed producer Gary Gear’s house in 1973. Gear was immediately struck by Kevin’s bear-like presence, smoldering eyes, and self-confident smirk (not to mention his physique once outfitted in a Speedo). Kevin was soon producing several films per week as part of Gear’s stable of performers. He became well-known for his trademark sidelong glances to the camera during pivotal scenes, his ability to realistically eat during his performances, and his relatively sparse dialogue (his characters’ motivations were often clearly conveyed in single sentences). Although Kevin was popular onscreen, within two years, he became less favored by directors after his female costars began to complain about his perspiration problem. Kevin soon faded from the mainstream scene, but continued to produce films well into his forties. Kevin Malone, 70s Porn Star
Kevin Malone (screen name Kevin Malabone) received his big break in erotic films when he attended a pool party in the Valley at famed producer Gary Gear’s house in 1973. Gear was immediately struck by Kevin’s bear-like presence, smoldering eyes, and self-confident smirk (not to mention his physique once outfitted in a Speedo). Kevin was soon producing several films per week as part of Gear’s stable of performers. He became well-known for his trademark sidelong glances to the camera during pivotal scenes, his ability to realistically eat during his performances, and his relatively sparse dialogue (his characters’ motivations were often clearly conveyed in single sentences). Although Kevin was popular onscreen, within two years, he became less favored by directors after his female costars began to complain about his perspiration problem. Kevin soon faded from the mainstream scene, but continued to produce films well into his forties.

]]> Comment on Bizarro Dunder-Mifflin by: Brad http://www.northernattack.com/archives/bizarro-dunder-mifflin/#comment-1457 Tue, 04 Jul 2006 05:39:30 +0000 http://www.northernattack.com/archives/bizarro-dunder-mifflin/#comment-1457 He’s one of the greatest warriors of medieval times, one who would bring the likes of King Arthur or William Wallace to their knees in humility. His name is Darryl. But the irony is that the fiercest battle in which Darryl will engage is one for peace among members of his family tree, the House of Flicka. For centuries, factions within his own lineage have fought over the existence of a secret, magical handshake. Some say performing the handshake brings long life and riches untold, while those who have knowledge of how to carry out said handshake say it’s a curse that will affect the descendants of Flicka for generations to come. Family members clash in a battle of the ages, brought to an end solely by the brave, mighty warrior, Darryl. This bloody and ferocious culmination would come to be known as The Din of the Kin of Flicka, or as we know it better today…Dinkin Flicka. He’s one of the greatest warriors of medieval times, one who would bring the likes of King Arthur or William Wallace to their knees in humility. His name is Darryl. But the irony is that the fiercest battle in which Darryl will engage is one for peace among members of his family tree, the House of Flicka. For centuries, factions within his own lineage have fought over the existence of a secret, magical handshake. Some say performing the handshake brings long life and riches untold, while those who have knowledge of how to carry out said handshake say it’s a curse that will affect the descendants of Flicka for generations to come. Family members clash in a battle of the ages, brought to an end solely by the brave, mighty warrior, Darryl. This bloody and ferocious culmination would come to be known as The Din of the Kin of Flicka, or as we know it better today…Dinkin Flicka.

]]> Comment on Bizarro Dunder-Mifflin by: Michele http://www.northernattack.com/archives/bizarro-dunder-mifflin/#comment-1456 Tue, 04 Jul 2006 04:55:30 +0000 http://www.northernattack.com/archives/bizarro-dunder-mifflin/#comment-1456 Pamtut Beesly: Egyptian priestess. Having lived as a peasent in Thebes for most of her life, Pamtut gained favor of the Pharaoh and was appointed high priestess over the Valley of the Kings. However, after "accidently" summoning the God of Death, Osiris by inviting her betrothed Roysuonmun to drink in the temple, he got drunk, and passed out in the holy fountain. As the plague passed over Egypt, Roysuomun, went to the Three Kings, a drinking hole. Moses got blamed for the plagues and Pamtut ran away with a slave named Jimisus after the parting of the Red Sea. Pamtut Beesly: Egyptian priestess.

Having lived as a peasent in Thebes for most of her life, Pamtut gained favor of the Pharaoh and was appointed high priestess over the Valley of the Kings. However, after "accidently" summoning the God of Death, Osiris by inviting her betrothed Roysuonmun to drink in the temple, he got drunk, and passed out in the holy fountain. As the plague passed over Egypt, Roysuomun, went to the Three Kings, a drinking hole. Moses got blamed for the plagues and Pamtut ran away with a slave named Jimisus after the parting of the Red Sea.

]]> Comment on Bizarro Dunder-Mifflin by: Trent http://www.northernattack.com/archives/bizarro-dunder-mifflin/#comment-1455 Tue, 04 Jul 2006 04:14:31 +0000 http://www.northernattack.com/archives/bizarro-dunder-mifflin/#comment-1455 Stan “the Can Man” – Present day Having lost his mind after a few dismal years at a dead-end office job, Stanley makes a living prowling small town ditches and streets in search of dejected beer cans and pop bottles, which he later redeems for their 5 cent refundable deposit. Armed with only an old, lighted miner’s helmet and a syrup-stained knapsack, Stanley, known by the town as Stan the Can Man, is infamous for his dogged determination to find every last discarded treasure. Many people in town actually justify throwing containers out of their moving vehicles by dedicating each 20 fluid ounce piece of pollution to Stan. Stanley hasn’t always been in such high regards with the town, though. Once, a grocery store security camera caught Stanley on tape, stealing from a bin of cans that had been donated to the city’s 4th of July fireworks fund. No charges were pressed. Stan “the Can Man” – Present day

Having lost his mind after a few dismal years at a dead-end office job, Stanley makes a living prowling small town ditches and streets in search of dejected beer cans and pop bottles, which he later redeems for their 5 cent refundable deposit.

Armed with only an old, lighted miner’s helmet and a syrup-stained knapsack, Stanley, known by the town as Stan the Can Man, is infamous for his dogged determination to find every last discarded treasure. Many people in town actually justify throwing containers out of their moving vehicles by dedicating each 20 fluid ounce piece of pollution to Stan.

Stanley hasn’t always been in such high regards with the town, though. Once, a grocery store security camera caught Stanley on tape, stealing from a bin of cans that had been donated to the city’s 4th of July fireworks fund. No charges were pressed.

]]> Comment on Bizarro Dunder-Mifflin by: Becky http://www.northernattack.com/archives/bizarro-dunder-mifflin/#comment-1454 Tue, 04 Jul 2006 03:40:52 +0000 http://www.northernattack.com/archives/bizarro-dunder-mifflin/#comment-1454 Michael Scott, Amish, 1924 Michael is a community leader in a small Amish town in Pennsylvania. In an attempt to make his dream of growing candy into a reality, he plants an annual crop of sugar cane. On his downtime, Michael can be found on his front porch, designing office desks for the Yoder Furniture Company. His ideals, which are firmly based in the foundation of Amish culture, help him to excel in his environment and make him a idol among the locals. He thoroughly agrees with the notion that divorce is not an option, and tends to admonish those who believe otherwise. Also, his simple high school education, which would normally be a hindrance, is generally typical in Amish society. Michael’s focus is primarily on that of family and the prospect of children, which is also a traditional Amish principle. Amish conventions work well with Michael's belief system, and he finds the stimulation he needs within their way of life. Michael Scott, Amish, 1924
Michael is a community leader in a small Amish town in Pennsylvania. In an attempt to make his dream of growing candy into a reality, he plants an annual crop of sugar cane. On his downtime, Michael can be found on his front porch, designing office desks for the Yoder Furniture Company. His ideals, which are firmly based in the foundation of Amish culture, help him to excel in his environment and make him a idol among the locals. He thoroughly agrees with the notion that divorce is not an option, and tends to admonish those who believe otherwise. Also, his simple high school education, which would normally be a hindrance, is generally typical in Amish society. Michael’s focus is primarily on that of family and the prospect of children, which is also a traditional Amish principle. Amish conventions work well with Michael's belief system, and he finds the stimulation he needs within their way of life.

]]> Comment on Bizarro Dunder-Mifflin by: Joshua http://www.northernattack.com/archives/bizarro-dunder-mifflin/#comment-1453 Tue, 04 Jul 2006 03:26:44 +0000 http://www.northernattack.com/archives/bizarro-dunder-mifflin/#comment-1453 Kevin Malone-Ring Master. Kevin is the Ring master of a very small and cheap circus in Kentucky. His circus has three people reocurring as several different acts. He sells lots of popcorn and long lasting balloons. Also, he has a special show for adults only after all the kids leave. Kevin Malone-Ring Master.

Kevin is the Ring master of a very small and cheap circus in Kentucky. His circus has three people reocurring as several different acts. He sells lots of popcorn and long lasting balloons. Also, he has a special show for adults only after all the kids leave.

]]> Comment on Bizarro Dunder-Mifflin by: Angela L http://www.northernattack.com/archives/bizarro-dunder-mifflin/#comment-1452 Tue, 04 Jul 2006 00:01:26 +0000 http://www.northernattack.com/archives/bizarro-dunder-mifflin/#comment-1452 Pam Beesley - Southern Belle 1930s Sweet, shy Pam sits on her porch in fanning herself on a hot Georgia day. In a plain white dress with her hair pulled under her hat she dreams of a man who can save her from herself. Always unsure and scared to make her own choices she settles for the first man to strike her fancy. Unfortunatly for her he doesn't make her feel special. She spends her days keeping up with the house and tending to his every need. She tries so hard to be happy with this man she wants so bad to love her the way she wants to be loved, support her dreans of a career, and someday a family. Her only joy is the cute, funny neighbor who often stops by for lemonade. They laugh and spend time talking of her dreams. She finds these are the moments she lives for. If only she could take the leap of faith needed to change her life. Pam Beesley - Southern Belle 1930s

Sweet, shy Pam sits on her porch in fanning herself on a hot Georgia day. In a plain white dress with her hair pulled under her hat she dreams of a man who can save her from herself. Always unsure and scared to make her own choices she settles for the first man to strike her fancy. Unfortunatly for her he doesn't make her feel special. She spends her days keeping up with the house and tending to his every need. She tries so hard to be happy with this man she wants so bad to love her the way she wants to be loved, support her dreans of a career, and someday a family. Her only joy is the cute, funny neighbor who often stops by for lemonade. They laugh and spend time talking of her dreams. She finds these are the moments she lives for. If only she could take the leap of faith needed to change her life.

]]> Comment on Bizarro Dunder-Mifflin by: Jenifer http://www.northernattack.com/archives/bizarro-dunder-mifflin/#comment-1451 Mon, 03 Jul 2006 22:08:58 +0000 http://www.northernattack.com/archives/bizarro-dunder-mifflin/#comment-1451 *Michael Scott, Wizard of Dinkin’ Flicka* It’s a hard job being the Wizard of Dinkin’ Flicka, but Michael does his best. First off he has to deal with this girl named Kelly from Scranton, Pennsylvania who just dropped in. She found some friends too: Jim Scarecrow, the Tin Man Toby, and Kevin the Lion… and even that little temp Ryan she drags around everywhere. Then there are the witches of the land: Pam, the Good Witch of the North; and Angela, Evil Witch of the West. Angela also has a bunch of cackling flying Schrutes that scatter around. They cause unnecessary stress in life of the Wizard. Michael does his best to keep his sanity, protecting himself in the Dunder Mifflin City, locked away in the Chili’s Castle. He really doesn’t want to deal with anyone, but is forced to when Kelly’s gang shows up at his door. He decides to help Kelly get back home, and finally offers to drive her back in his Chrysler, as he is from Scranton as well. Just as they are about to leave, little Ryan tries to escape from Kelly and she runs after him, leaving Michael to drive home by himself. Michael Scott, Wizard of Dinkin’ Flicka
It’s a hard job being the Wizard of Dinkin’ Flicka, but Michael does his best. First off he has to deal with this girl named Kelly from Scranton, Pennsylvania who just dropped in. She found some friends too: Jim Scarecrow, the Tin Man Toby, and Kevin the Lion… and even that little temp Ryan she drags around everywhere.
Then there are the witches of the land: Pam, the Good Witch of the North; and Angela, Evil Witch of the West. Angela also has a bunch of cackling flying Schrutes that scatter around. They cause unnecessary stress in life of the Wizard.
Michael does his best to keep his sanity, protecting himself in the Dunder Mifflin City, locked away in the Chili’s Castle. He really doesn’t want to deal with anyone, but is forced to when Kelly’s gang shows up at his door. He decides to help Kelly get back home, and finally offers to drive her back in his Chrysler, as he is from Scranton as well. Just as they are about to leave, little Ryan tries to escape from Kelly and she runs after him, leaving Michael to drive home by himself.

]]> Comment on Bizarro Dunder-Mifflin by: John http://www.northernattack.com/archives/bizarro-dunder-mifflin/#comment-1450 Mon, 03 Jul 2006 16:27:48 +0000 http://www.northernattack.com/archives/bizarro-dunder-mifflin/#comment-1450 Jim Halpert, Court Jester, 1388 Court Jester Jim Halpert, unlike most of counterparts in his time, playfully incorporated the King, Sir Michael Scott, in his antics, poking fun at him incessantly. Besides the never failing "Up Dawg" joke, Jim also engaged the court in various games such as “Desert Tower” and “Who would you torture?” Everyone enjoyed Jim's talents, earning him great respect in the kingdom. The King would frequently try and play along but he often made a fool of himself. Jim also had a strong attraction to Queen Pamela, as did she to him. Finally, one day, Jim decided to make a move. He came to the court one day dressed in royal attire and demanded to know why Sir Michael was sitting in his throne. Michael was confused, and looked to his Queen and people for support. Everyone looked at him like he was crazy. "Yes Jester, what are you doing in my Sire’s throne?" Queen Pamela asked. The only person who would have stood up from him would have been Duke Dwight, but he was busy tending to his beet farm. Michael reluctantly stepped down as Jim took his place as King of Dunder Mifflin. Jim Halpert, Court Jester, 1388

Court Jester Jim Halpert, unlike most of counterparts in his time, playfully incorporated the King, Sir Michael Scott, in his antics, poking fun at him incessantly. Besides the never failing "Up Dawg" joke, Jim also engaged the court in various games such as “Desert Tower” and “Who would you torture?” Everyone enjoyed Jim's talents, earning him great respect in the kingdom. The King would frequently try and play along but he often made a fool of himself. Jim also had a strong attraction to Queen Pamela, as did she to him.

Finally, one day, Jim decided to make a move. He came to the court one day dressed in royal attire and demanded to know why Sir Michael was sitting in his throne. Michael was confused, and looked to his Queen and people for support. Everyone looked at him like he was crazy. "Yes Jester, what are you doing in my Sire’s throne?" Queen Pamela asked. The only person who would have stood up from him would have been Duke Dwight, but he was busy tending to his beet farm. Michael reluctantly stepped down as Jim took his place as King of Dunder Mifflin.

]]>