Boats and Michael Scott are two things that were never meant to come in contact with one another, but our fearless leader chances it anyway to semi-terrible results. Michael’s decision to host this quarter’s retreat on the not-so-high seas of Lake Waullenwaupack is met with resounding apathy. While onboard, Michael says several things he regrets, Jim regrets not saying enough, and Meredith mistakes a life preserver for an appropriate piece of clothing.

The Michael Scott School of Hard Knocks

Placing Michael in charge of a motivational retreat is about as good of an idea as it is to mix gasoline with fireballs.

Michael : Leader. Ship. The word ship is hidden inside the word leadership, as its derivation.

Add that one to Michael’s list of improvised quotes that make absolutely no sense. It’s at times like this when you wonder if Michael is deaf to his own idiocy. And yet, he’s able to come up with advice that is both timely and pretty good, actually, when you least expect it.

Michael : Well, if you like her so much, you shoulda… Don’t give up.
Jim : She’s engaged.
Michael : Pshh. BFD. Engaged ain’t married.
Jim : Huh.
Michael : Never, ever, ever give up.

That’s what you get with Michael: nine times out of ten he spouts nonsense, but hang around him long enough and probability dictates that he will eventually say something worth listening to.

Dwight Being Dwight

Dwight is the reason why fake steering wheels were invented. In fact, they work so well on him that we hardly see him the entire night.

Angela : Hey, come inside and talk to me.
Dwight : I can’t. Do you want us to run aground, woman?

The only thing any man ever got with calling Angela “woman” is eternal damnation. Dwight better watch his back.

The Many Faces of Jim

You can’t be nice all the time — the worst kind of mean comes from nice people.

Katy : [Looks at Roy and Pam dancing]  Do you think that’ll ever be us?
Jim : No.
Katy : What is wrong with you? Why did you even bring me here tonight?
Jim : I don’t know. Let’s break up.
Katy : Whoa. What?!

Katy seemed like a nice enough person, certainly undeserving of this sort of insensitive treatment. So, yes, I do think that Jim was being rude. That being said, I also think that he owes it to himself to speak his mind every now and then. It’s unfortunate that Katy had to be caught in the middle of it, but hey, you can only bottle so much up before you drive yourself insane. Jim’s a good guy. He’ll apologize to her.

Confessions of a Receptionist

There are certain films that men are forbidden to speak of in public. Titanic is at the top of that list, right next to Bridget Jones’s Diary.

Michael : I see the sales department are down there–they’re in the engine room, and they are shoveling coal into the furnace, right? I mean who saw the movie Titanic? They were very important in the movie Titanic. Who saw it? Show of hands.
Jim : Not really sure what movie you’re talking about. You sure you got the title right?
Michael : Titanic?
Pam : I think you’re thinking of The Hunt for Red October.

Sean Connery is the real man’s Leonardo DiCaprio. Casting Mr. Connery to play the role of Jack Dawson would have resulted in improved credibility for the film among males, not to mention vastly reduced box office sales.

The Jim/Pam Index

Booze Cruise picks up right where Christmas Party left off with some pretty heavy JP activity.

Roy : You–you really look familiar. Did you, uh–you cheered for them, didn’t you?
Jim : Ummm… no.
Katy : Yes, I did. A-W-E. S-O-M-E. Awesome, awesome is what we are. We’re the football superstars.

Just as being a cheerleader grants you a lifetime membership in an exclusive social circle, not being one immediately places you in the company of those that ridicule it. Thus, Jim and Pam find joy in listening to Roy and Katy reminisce about their glory years. The booze part of the cruise claims most of the passengers as the night wears on, but not Jim and Pam. We see them sharing a quiet moment outside.

Pam : Getting kind of rowdy down there.
Jim : Yeah. Darryl, Darryl, Darryl!
Pam : [Laughs]  Sometimes I just don’t get Roy.
Jim : Well…
Pam : I mean, I don’t know…
Jim : [Silence]
Pam : So…. what’s it like dating a cheerleader?
Jim : [Laughs]  Um…
[A very long silence as the two look into each others’ eyes]
Pam : [Shivers]  I’m cold.  [Heads back inside]
Jim : [Remains outside and stares into the distance]

This conversation out on the deck is probably the most talked about scene in the episode, and for good reason. Viewers who lack the self-control to absorb more than five seconds of silence will quickly lose their composure, which is sad because there is a quiet truth to this scene that is extremely difficult to convey. This exchange demands silence, a fact that is made all the more impressive when you realize the weight that this scene is meant to carry. As difficult as it is to watch, it must have been considerably more difficult to act. The fact that Jim is able to express not just pedistrian emotions, but a real sense of deep longing without uttering a single word is pretty damn impressive and a sign of some serious acting ability on John’s part.

Jim : You know what? I would save the receptionist. I just wanted to clear that up.

Jim finally musters up the courage to tell Pam the truth only to be preempted by Roy, who shows up at the podium having grown some marital commitment in a matter of seconds.

Roy : Hey, everybody, uh, could I have your attention for a-a-just a second? Listen to me for a second. Um, we were up at the front, and we were talking about what’s really important in… Pam, um, I think enough is enough. I think we should set a date for our wedding. How about June 10th? Come on, let’s do it!

It hurts, man. It hurts real bad. Having the ship split in two and dying an icy death is probably sounding pretty good right now.

Michael : You and Pam? Wow. I would have never have put you two together. You really hid it well. God. Usually, I have a radar for stuff like that.  [Sighs]  You know, I made out with Jan.
Jim : Yeah, I know.
Michael : Yeah? Yup. Well Pam is cute.
Jim : Yeah. She’s really funny, and… she’s warm, and she’s just… anyway.

I think it’s safe to say that several people in the office were already onto Jim and Pam. Having Michael in the know, however, changes the landscape dramatically. Whether it’s for better or worse remains to be seen.

Had it not been for Michael’s uncharacteristic display of wisdom at the end, we would have seen the JP Index dip sharply into negative territory. Strange as it might be, he keeps it afloat. Even it is.

Supporting Nod

Darryl is awesome. Watch him step up to the plate to take the next shot at Michael.

Michael : Now on this ship, that is the office, what is the sales department? Anyone?
Darryl : How about the sales department is the sails?
Michael : Yes, Darryl. the sales department makes sales. Good.

The air is thick with mangled analogies.

The Superstar

Jim, because his defeat is only temporary. Michael earns co-superstar status simply by making sense.

Transmissions from the Office

  • Pam : What do I want, what do I want? Ooh. Pencil cup.
    Dwight : No, no, no, no, no, no. That’s my pencil cup.
    Pam : Um, I don’t think so. I just bought it.
    Dwight : Uh, I think so, and you’re going to hand it over to me.
    Pam : I love these.
    Dwight : Ok, fine. Where’s my wallet?
    Jim : Um… oh, there it is. J1.

    Moving Dwight’s entire desk and contents to the men’s room may have required more effort, but watching him pay for his own things out of a vending machine might actually have been more entertaining.

  • Pam : Michael sent out this mysterious memo.
    Jim : It’s time for our first quarter camaraderie event, so pack a swimsuit, a tooth brush, rubber-soled shoes, and a ski mask.
    Pam : A ski mask. And a swimsuit.
    Jim : So that he can have us rob a bank and then escape through the sewers.
    Pam : And brush our teeth.

    Alright, let’s take a huge, and I mean frickin’ gigantic leap, and assume that Michael robbed a bank successfully. Escaping through the sewers sounds like something he would do, not as an act of brilliance — because that could actually work — but because he read it in a Maxim article.

  • Michael : It is now time to unveil the destination of this year’s retreat. We are going on a harbor cruise of Lake Wallenpaupack.
    Dwight : Yes!
    [The rest of the conference room is silent]
    Michael : It’s a booze cruise!
    Meredith : All right!

    There are limits to how much you can drink, unless you’re name is Meredith Palmer. Then you have no limits.

  • Phyllis : Michael, everyone in the engine room drowned.
    Michael : No–thank you. Spoiler alert.

    Phyllis tells it like it is.

  • Michael : They’re happy down there in the furnace room, and they’re dirty, and grimy, and sweaty, and they’re singing their ethnic songs, and–actually, that might be warehouse.
    Darryl : What?
    Michael : The–no, no, no I didn’t… ok.

    Ever wish you could take back something you said? Michael does. All the time.

  • Michael : In an office, when you are ranking people, manager is higher than captain. On a boat, who knows? It’s nebulous.

    Michael comes dangerously close to making up another word here. Luckily, he avoids tacking on any extra syllables this time and is merely guilty of mispronouncing it.

  • Captain Jack : That’s right, partyers! It’s time to limbo, limbo, limbo! Alright, I need a volunteer to come up here and hold my stick. Huh? Who’s it gonna be?
    Meredith : [Raises her hand]
    Captain Jack : Okay–
    Dwight : Me! Me, me me! Me. Me. Me, me, me…
    Captain Jack : Uh… usually it’s a woman.
    Dwight : I’m stronger.

    Dwight was the kind of kid back in elementary school that teachers prayed would never raise his hand.

  • Dwight : I was the youngest pilot in Pan Am history. When I was four, the pilot let me ride in the cockpit and fly the plane with him. And I was four, and I was great and I would have landed it, but my dad wanted us to go back to our seats.

    Having Dwight pilot anything larger than a tricycle is a bad idea. The only way he gets by driving a car in Scranton is because it’s Scranton.

  • Michael : Sometimes you have to take a break from being the kind of boss that’s always trying to teach people things. Sometimes you have to just be the boss of dancing.

    I’m just going to let this scene speak for itself.

  • Captain Jack : I got an idea, I got an idea. I could marry you right now as captain of the ship! Huh? Huh, huh?!
    Michael : I could marry you as regional manager of Dunder-Mifflin!
    Pam : No, no, no, no. I want my mom and dad to be there.
    Michael : Then I’ll give you away!
    Pam : No, thank you.

    The lack of sense here is staggering.

  • Michael : I’m on medication.
    Brenda : Really? What?
    Michael : Vomicillin.

    Sounds yummy.

  • Michael : I’m in the brig. See?  [Motions with his hands, restrained by zip-ties]  Boat’s not as corporate-friendly as advertised. What is the deal with the guy jumping overboard? What was–if he had just waited and heard what I had to say, he would be motivated right now and not all wet.

    Michael’s right. Had that guy waited another few seconds, he would have been motivated. Motivated to beat Michael senseless. Still, why anyone would jump off the side of a ship that is clearly in working condition and in full sight of land is beyond me.

  • Dwight : Don’t worry, Michael. I’m taking us to shore.
    Michael : It’s a fake wheel, dummy.

    I’m no sailor, but you would think that Dwight would have noticed by now that the ship wasn’t responding to any of his steering.

Odds and Ends

  • Captain Jack’s introduction to the passengers inside the cabin has shades of Mr. Brown from Diversity Day all over it.
  • Meredith is quickly earning a reputation on this show. A reputation that does not involve wearing any clothes.
  • Check out the look that Katy gives Jim near the end of the episode. Yikes! An overnight cruise in the middle of a lake would have to rank pretty low on the list of places to break up.

The Story in Pictures

Gallery Image

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Man, a rough night for Jim. Dudes everywhere feel your pain. This episode featured one of the longest silences television's ever dared to put on the air. Not really an awkward silence, so I won't call it that, but a difficult moment to watch nonetheless.

Look for the recap in the coming days.

1Posted by James on January 5, 2006

Yeah, that was hard to watch. And thank god I'm a chick, because it's ok to admit that I cried.

2Posted by KS on January 5, 2006

Haha I know, I was squirming in my seat watching tonight's episode.

3Posted by Marc on January 5, 2006

It was definitely tense watching Jim and Pam on the deck (who was piloting the ship then anyway, where was Dwigt!?)... I'm sure lots of guys out there have been in a similar situation where you wanted to say something and it felt like she wanted you to say it too but it just doesn't come out. So you just kind of sit there.

4Posted by Brian on January 5, 2006

Hmm...not my favorite episode. A few good moments, but it wasn't the strongest offering in the series (I'd probably say it was as good as The Alliance or The Dundees).

Not enough Dwight Schrute, and not enough screentime from some of my favorite supporting characters (More Phyllis and Kevin please!!! These guys should be rocking out! Especially Phyllis of former Whitesnake karaoke fame!)

5Posted by Dave on January 5, 2006

I loved The Dundees, blasphemy. This episode just broke my heart. I mean, it's hard to believe they're acting when Jim gives Pam those long looks. I will admit it, I cried. And of all the people to lift Jim's spirits, Michael Scott! There is some heart inside that goofy exterior.

Funniest moment: "It's a fake wheel!"

6Posted by Linds on January 5, 2006

Dang, I missed it! Does anyone know when Booze Cruise will be available in the iTunes store? What's is the turnaround anyway? I see they have the Christams episode up.

7Posted by Josh on January 5, 2006

Josh : Turnaround at the iTMS is usually pretty snappy. I think I recall past episodes being available the next day.

8Posted by James on January 5, 2006

Why do you think Jim confided in Michael? Just because he was there? I'm afraid Michael's going to say something stupid about it to Pam in the near future. I fell more in love with Jim in this episode, and I really didn't think that was possible.

9Posted by erica on January 6, 2006

Um, Jim, it might not be a good idea to take advice from a guy wearing handcuffs. I'm just sayin'.

10Posted by The Stooges Woman on January 6, 2006

I was sooo uncomfortable during the "staring" scene,as well as when Jim said that he would "save the receptionist", in addition to when he got advice from Michael,"never let her go", or whatever. It was all so CHEESY for the Office!! And Jim was so mean to Katy. But, that's okay. There were a lot of scenes on the British version that were hard to watch too, and that turned out good in the end. I'd like to see Pam start to get really jealous like Dawn did, but with Katy out of the picture, I don't know what is going to happen now. Oh, well, I'm sure we'll have to wait until May sweeps to see anything go down anyway.;)

11Posted by Dani on January 6, 2006

Yeah he was kind of rude to Katy, but it was just because he was so upset. What a great episode though.

12Posted by lalinapopina on January 6, 2006

It was cold, to be sure. It's still pretty damn good to see Jim finally obtain a bit of backbone though.

13Posted by djr on January 6, 2006

I think that was simply the best episode ever. Corny? Well, kind of. I loved it! I thought it was excellent and it was one of "The Office" episodes that really had a heart in it. I also fell in love for Jim (never been a fan of his character though) and he just stared at Pam and Pam just stared back and Pam started getting uncomfortable. My heart even broke for Jim when Pam got "officially" engaged to Roy and he just looked at them two for a long while.

Even though I thought the scene where Jim confided in Michael was kind of - weird? I thought that was the greatest moment in the episode. I think that was the scene where John and Steve gave their best performances. That was the scene on the moment. I think that the was scene that tied the episode into a nice little knot.

I am usually not a fan of episodes where a show's cast go on "vacation" or whatever, but I really fell in love with this episode and can't wait for the full recap. And uh, sorry for the long comment, hehe.

14Posted by Marcy on January 6, 2006

I was disappointed in Jim. I thought 1)he would've been nicer to Katy and 2)that he would've said something to Pam to at least elude to his feelings for her. I am sad for Katy too, she was all that bad, right?

15Posted by kelly on January 6, 2006

Males do stupid things when they feel defeated. But this will throw a new angle into the next episode...

16Posted by Jason G. on January 6, 2006

Yeah, Jim was rude, but he just lost his last chance with the girl he's been pining over for years. And it seemed like Roy announced his wedding plans RIGHT as Jim was running over to talk to Pam and (maybe?!) tell her that he likes her more than just a friend.

Also, I can see why he would tell Michael, if he thought that it was already obvious. I'm sure Michael is the ONLY person in that entire office that didn't pick up on the Jim/Pam flirtation, which was hilarious as well. "You played that really close to the chest!"

17Posted by Liv on January 6, 2006

Getting ready to hop on a plane back to California, folks, so we'll see what sort of recap I can put together while in transit. Some quality comments being posted here -- I'll keep them in mind as I assemble my thoughts.

18Posted by James on January 7, 2006

This episode was FANTASTIC. It was heartwarming, and heartwrenching all at the same time. More heartwrenching, I can't believe it..
I hate Roy, with a passion. Jim was rude to Katy because he doesn't care about Katy, she's like, a Ghost Pam.
And Jim talked to Michael because they have a BOND! Don't you remember? They've often shared knowing glances, having both been in the same position, (in a way), many times.

Did anyone think that .. new girl.. Debra or whatever, served no purpose?
What was her deal?
Someone tell me what the point of her was.

And Michael saying "the ship is sinking", talking about the business, that sounds scary. I hope its not bad news for Dunder Mifflin! Big layoffs? Better not be.

Ahh, so great.

19Posted by Jay K. Cagatay on January 7, 2006

Anyone else having trouble watching the Deleted Scenes on NBC.com? Mine just load... and load... and load...

20Posted by Elly on January 7, 2006

I didn't think Jim was that rude. He just didn't beat around the bush. He seemed tired of wanting Pam, and pretending that Katie could cure him of it.

And as for Michael's conversation with Jim. Well, I got the impression that the reason for this little moment is because througout the entire episode, he's trying to To motivate. Almost through being manipulative. But the only time he really does motivate someone (like Jim), is when he isn’t tying. When he’s being sincere. That’s what I took away from it.

21Posted by Michele on January 7, 2006

No...Jim was pretty rude. I felt like he was on auto-pilot though. I think he just blurted out whatever he was thinking, rather than stopping to think about the best approach.(c'mon boys, admit that is usually the last thing on your mind) You're right, he doesn't care about Katy, at all. I love Jim and I'm glad we saw the "guy" side of him... I've been a Katy before, though...and it sucks. I think the writers had to bring that side out him, because he's such a great guy 99.99% of the time that he will do something really great and totally redeem himself. I'm sooo hooked on this storyline.YAY!

22Posted by kelly on January 8, 2006

OK, everyone can relax, I got the deleted scenes to load on the website.

"Is your password Frodo?"
"No."
"Did you just change it to Gollum?"
"...No."

23Posted by Elly on January 8, 2006

The deleted scenes on NBC's website do not work on my Mac :(. Get with it NBC!

24Posted by Patrick on January 8, 2006

Yay, summary! Excellent, as always.

That’s what you get with Michael: nine times out of ten he spouts nonsense, but hang around him long enough and probability dictates that he will eventually say something worth listening to.

It's like that philosophical example of putting 50 chimps in a room with typewriters -- eventually they'll type Shakespeare. I'm completely slaughtering this theory, but you get my gist.

And the boss of dancing? My new favorite Michael quote ever.

25Posted by otahyoni on January 9, 2006

Michael Scott is my Motivational Boss of Dancing. The ending was fantastic-- Jim finally voiced his feelings for Pam, and Michael finally got to be the motivational boss/buddy. And Dwigt, oh Dwigt. Maybe Angela should be rethinking her love for Dwigt. This was by far my favorite episode of the season.

26Posted by Shanah on January 9, 2006

Since a lot of people are wondering about Michael's reaction to Jim's confiding in him, I thought I'd share this from tvguide.com

Worried that Michael knows that he secretly pines for Pam, Jim begrudgingly hangs out with his ego-inflated boss in an effort to keep him from spilling the beans. One of their many outings: a trip to Hooters.

The episode is The Secret airing on January 19th.

27Posted by Charlotte on January 9, 2006

I thought this episode was pure brilliance. I loved the entire thing, especially the 27 seconds of UST.

In case you didn't know, the next few episodes deal with Jim keeping Michael from spilling the beans by pretending he's his best friend. SPOILER But alas, Michael tells Pam (honestly, who wouldn't see that coming?)

Great recap! I love all these, so funny & a great way to pass the time between Office eps. Keep up the good work!

28Posted by Quinn on January 9, 2006

If John Krasinski did't earn an Emmy nomination for his silent scenes, then there is no justice.

29Posted by hauseriv on January 9, 2006

I think Darryl's reply to Michael's question was actually that the sales department was the "sails", as in the sails of a boat. Michael, of course, didn't understand the wordplay and patronized his answer.

Classic exchange.

30Posted by Kenny on January 9, 2006

Kenny : Whoops, that would be a typo on my part. It should read properly now.

31Posted by James on January 9, 2006

Just one more thing...considering that this show is supposed to be a documentary, aren't the Pam and her boyfriend characters going to see the whole Jim confessional on T.V.???? So, when Jim tries to be buddy, buddy with Michael, to keep him from telling the secret, that will be kinda pointless. I wonder how the show is going to portray that, or if they are going to address it at all...

32Posted by Dani on January 9, 2006

Great recap, per usual. But I have to asl. Where do you get the pics from? I've tried to take screenshots from my computer but they aren't as crisp as yours. Do tell.

33Posted by KS on January 9, 2006

I know this is off-topic a little, but does anyone know where I can get videos of Jim's (John's) interview on Carson Daly and/or Pam's (Jenna's) interview on Tony Danza? I missed both, darn it. But remember, Steve Carrell on Leno this Wednesday!

34Posted by JP on January 10, 2006

Awesome recap.

Jay K. - I don't even remember a new girl. Is that mean of me? I'll totally have to watch it again. However, this was in Angela's MySpace blog: "Oh and a little piece of news, the supporting cast as of this episode were made regulars. We had been week to week guest stars. We are super excited and happy!"

So maybe that frees up some spots for additional guests. Who knows.

I can't believe it's almost Thursday. Well done, NBC.
Well done.

35Posted by laura. on January 11, 2006

I don't know why people feel bad for katy! who cares! anything to get jim and pam together. plus i thought it was perfect that he was just so distracted and staring at pam, that it was like he didn't even realize he was being mean

36Posted by erica on January 11, 2006

laura.-

The 'new girl' is that chick from corporate who I don't think had any lines, she's just kinda there. Brenda or something.

37Posted by Jason G. on January 13, 2006

Yeah, Brenda is assigned to Michael by corporate, apparently because they think she can learn something from him...? In one of the deleted scenes on NBC.com, Jan brings her to the office and introduces her to Michael. It's a GREAT exchange! I wish they'd kept it in the show. It went something like this...

Michael: "Ah! Every man's dream!"
Jan: "A visit from his boss...?"
Michael: "No, two girls at once. Ah..."

Classic Michael Scott!

38Posted by Rage on January 13, 2006

Normally I cant stand romantic interludes in comedies.

But this has to be the deepest and most well-executed romantic story arcs ever in a TV comedy. And yeah, being a guy, I never admit to crying at anything, but I was really close to doing so after Pam left Jim standing out on the deck. Missed opportunity scenes really get to me for some reason.

Like everyone else said, those 27 seconds of silence in that scene spoke louder than any dialogue could have. Bravo Jenna and John.

39Posted by Pat D. on January 24, 2006

In the end when Michael and Jim are talking, Michael says, "BFD, engaged ain't married." What does BFD mean?

Can anyone get Steve Carell's acceptance speech to play? It just loads and loads when I try to play it.

40Posted by Samantha on January 25, 2006

BFD=Big 'effin deal. :)

41Posted by Pat D. on January 26, 2006

"You can’t be nice all the time — the worst kind of mean comes from nice people."

Ouch - but you're absolutely right. I love the way you wrote that. You could say the same thing of the scene in an earlier episode when Jim tells Pam, "Well at least I didn't leave you at a high school hockey game," referring to her story of her date with Roy. It's so unexpected that it's like a sucker punch in the gut.

42Posted by Michelle on February 16, 2006

one of the best episodes of television to ever be put on air

43Posted by Eric on October 12, 2006