• Season 3 : Episode 20
  • First aired on April 26, 2007
  • Written by Justin Spitzer and Brent Forrester / Directed by Randall Einhorn
  • Recap by Jamie Harris
  • Discuss this episode at The Watercooler, and remember to submit your vote at OfficeTally.

It’s Meet The Press, Scranton style, when an anatomically-correct watermark leaks past quality control and brings Dunder Mifflin under not-so-public fire. Michael scrambles to save from being the escape goat while Creed, the real escape goat, launches his own damaging brand of damage control. Angela’s policy is not apology; Andy’s is to card all future girlfriends, especially those with close ties to the frozen yogurt industry.

The Michael Scott School of Hard Knocks

Michael : Everybody in here, stat. No time to lose. Cri-Man-Squa. F and C, doubletime.
Dwight : Cri-Man-Squa?
Michael : Crisis Management Squad.
Ryan : F and C, doubletime?
Michael : Front and center, twice as fast as you would normally go. Any other questions?
Jim : One more. Why are you talking like that?
Michael : To save time, Jim.
Karen : Actually I think you could make the argument that it wastes time.
Pam : Yeah, she has a good point. I mean, for example, with the last thing you said, by the time you explained it, it actually took up more time.

The picture of efficiency, it’s not, but Michael still manages some managerial competency as he helms the crisis and gets the troops to their battle stations. And then, true to form, it all comes apart at the seams.

Mrs. Allen : I’m calling the Better Business Bureau!
Michael : Yeah, well, I’m calling the Ungrateful Bee-yotch Hotline!

Not exactly the guy to send in when it’s time to cut losses.

Dwight Being Dwight

It was only a matter of time before Jim walked through that door, hair parted, gold tie ensemble, bobblehead and all. In fact, I’m kind of surprised it’s taken him this long, especially since the sum total of Dwight’s identity can be purchased for $11 and summed up in three points: bears, beets, and Battlestar Galactica. But impressive as it was, the punchline most definitely belonged to Dwight.

For some reason, I was reminded of one of my favorite visual gags of the show: first season, The Alliance, when Dwight’s voiceover on politics, baby cuts away to him as a peroxided platinum blond. And while it’s really not the same at all, having him walk into that tag scene in full Halpert gear was about as unexpected and awesome as it comes.

The Many Faces of Jim

Each week I am loving Ed Helms more and more, for reasons not unrelated to how Jim plays off of the ever-unraveling Andy.

Andy : [to the school official] One of your students is a bitch.
Jim : Andy is having a real rough day today.
Andy : I want to take out an ad in your yearbook. Full page, two words.
Jim : “Good luck.”
Andy : That’s not what I had in mind.

Dwight need not worry, but you have to admit, the chemistry is undeniable.

Confessions of a Receptionist

Pam : Michael likes me to run the camera when he makes his apology videos. He says he needs a woman’s touch.

There are many things in the world that qualify as needing a woman’s touch. This, however, would not be one.

Michael : [into camera] If I could leave you with one thought, remember, it wasn’t me. They are trying to make me an escape goat. If I am fired, I swear to god that every single piece of copier paper in this town is going to have the F-word on it. The F-word. You have one day.
Pam : One day for what?
Michael : That’s– they always give an ultimatum.
Pam : Okay.
Michael : Good, cut?
Pam : Cut. That was your best apology video ever.
Michael : Thought so too.

Not to say she doesn’t do the job justice, because she most assuredly does.

The Jim/Pam Index

One thing has been proven in this latest vacuum of Jim/Pam interaction; the show isn’t necessarily dependent upon it to stand on its own comedic two feet. However, if you were to poll the audience for “with” or “without,” I’d guarantee it would heartily be the former.

But for now, vacuum it is, and Product Recall is so void of contact that, even with the season’s end dangerously close (don’t remind me!), it warrants a move Down. Three weeks in counting, assuming that without a wedding there is still some sort of deadline, and it’s anybody’s game.

Supporting Nod

Creed has a title!

Creed : Every week, I’m supposed to take four hours and do a quality spot-check at the paper mill. And of course the one year I blow it off, this happens.

A title that means absolutely nothing whatsoever.

The Superstar

Has the superstar ever been decided by the 30-second tag scene? Dwight was on the ball throughout the episode but closing it out as “Jim” was the whole heap of cherries on top.

Transmissions from the Office

  • Jim : Question. What kind of bear is best?
    Dwight : That’s a ridiculous question…
    Jim : False. Black bear.
    Dwight : That’s debatable. There are basically two schools of thought…
    Jim : Fact. Bears eat beets. Bears. Beets. Battlestar Galactica.
    Dwight : Bears do not– what is going on? What are you doing?!

    I enjoy watching how long it takes Dwight to notice something amiss with the mirror image.

  • Michael : We have a lot of angry customers out there. This puts us at Threat Level Midnight.

    I smell a mission for Agent Michael Scarn.

  • Michael : [to Jim] I want you to bring a partner.
    Ryan : I’ll go.
    Michael : No, sweet cheeks. We need somebody who’s actually made a sale. Andy, you go.
    Andy : [Cockney accent] William Doolittle at your service. A.k.a., Will Do.
    Jim : Yeah, I’m definitely going to go alone.
    Michael : No, no, I need two men on this. That’s what she said. No time! But she did. NO TIME!

    No matter how many times Michael battles himself over that joke, it never gets old.

  • Kelly : Look, I know the reason that you guys became accountants is ’cause you’re not good at interacting with people. But guess what? From now on, you guys are no longer losers. So give yourselves a round of applause.
    [Kelly and Kevin clap]
    Oscar : I wonder how many phone calls you’re missing while you’re teaching us to answer calls.
    Kelly : I know, right? Probably a lot.

    So… catch 22?

  • Dwight : Hi. Hello. Dwight Schrute. You must be from the Washington Post.
    Chad Lite : Scranton Times. Chad Lite, “Lighter Side of Life.”
    Dwight : And “Breaking Corporate News…”
    Chad Lite : And obits.
    Dwight : Oh, dear god. Okay, here are your credentials. You’ve been granted level 3 security clearance. Don’t get too excited, that’s out of 20.

    And restroom access isn’t granted until level 4.

  • Creed : When I went over Wednesday for the spot check, I got a call from Debbie Brown, saying she has an emergency dentist appointment.
    Dwight : Emergency dentist appointment?

    Brilliant smirk at the camera there, Dwight.

  • Dwight : First rule in roadside beet sales: the most attractive beets on top. The ones that make you pull the car over and go, “wow, I need this beet right now.” Those are the money beets.

    Poor Phyllis is not a money beet.

  • Kelly : Ask where he’s from.
    Angela : [on phone] Where are you from? Ohio? That’s nice. So what do you want? [to Kelly] He’s upset about the watermark.
    Kelly : Okay, now tell him it was an unfortunate error, and we’re doing everything we can to fix it, and you’re sorry.
    Angela : [on phone] It was an unfortunate error. We’re fixing it. And you already got your money back…
    Kelly : And you’re sorry.
    Angela : [on phone] And the company has already apologized, so you can take that apology or not. [Abruptly hangs up] I think he had Tourette’s or something.

    This week was one of the hardest yet to choose a supporting nod, and you could probably say Creed’s case was helped by not having to make the choice between Angela Martin and Kelly Kapoor. By all means, put these two together more often.

  • Michael : [into camera] Let me tell you something, something from the heart. I am not leaving this office. It will take a SWAT team to remove me from this office. And maybe not even that.
    Dwight : Uh, you could never withstand a SWAT team.
    Michael : That’s how devoted I am to this job…
    Dwight : I’m just saying.
    Michael : I know.
    Dwight : They would flank you, throw in a concussion grenade–
    Michael : I understand that, Dwight.
    Dwight : You’d be on the ground, blind, deaf, dumb–
    Michael : You think you’re taking it a little literally, Dwight?
    Dwight : If you want it to be–
    Michael : And now we’re wasting tape, I’m going to have to cut this all out. Can you say cut? So I know where to–
    Dwight : Cut.
    Pam : Cut.
    Michael : I’m asking Pam to do it, please.
    Pam : Cut.

    It turns out taking control of the camera away from Dwight does not guarantee any smoother of a production.

Odds and Ends

  • I don’t know, sometimes I use 3, 4 cans of hairspray myself.
  • Ed McMahon will be the first to tell you those prize checks are non-transferable.
  • Baby posters be damned; Oscar and Angela just keep finding more common ground.

The Story in Pictures

Gallery Image

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NBC posted on youtube what I assume is a clip of tonight's episode. Incredibly funny as it is, I don't think i has much to do with the 'A' Plot for tonight. Too bad.

Bears and beets. Bears and Beets.

1Posted by S. Kim on April 26, 2007

Now that was a good episode.... pretty much plotless, but everybody had their moments. Good luck finding a superstar and supporting nod. As usual, I vote for Creed!

2Posted by Pat D. on April 26, 2007

What a great episode. I've been waiting for an episode like that all season.

3Posted by Johnny Classic on April 26, 2007

I'm not going to break up the string of praise

"I'm supposed to take 4hours every week and do a quality inspection, and lo and behold the one year I take off this happens"

hahahaha

4Posted by Ryan on April 26, 2007

Great. Great. Great. Great. Great!

5Posted by Monday Morning. on April 26, 2007

Fantastic episode. Classic.
- Dwight Halpert
- B.A.N.A.N.A.S.
-English Kelly and Australian Kevin
-Dwight's "revenge"
and my personal favourite...
"Lord, beer me strength."
Love, love, love this show!

6Posted by Alana on April 26, 2007

Best line: "Those are the money beets."

Please. Please tell me I'm not the only person who thought Dwight genuinely looked cute as Jim. Maybe I've just grown close to Dwight, but when he came on screen as Jim I was like "Ooh! Hello!"

Loved, loved, loved Angela in this episode.

7Posted by Mary Temp on April 27, 2007

I can't decide which was better - Jim as Dwight or Dwight as Jim.
The mark of a great episode, for me anyway - I was watching by myself and I still laughed out loud. For some reason this rarely happens, even when I think things are funny.

8Posted by Lori on April 27, 2007

"that's what she said"
"NO TIME!"
"but she did."
"NO TIME!"
- Michael

"Question. Which bear is best?"
- Jim

Oh man, why is The Office only half an hour???

9Posted by liesl on April 27, 2007

In light of what happened this episode, I think it's pretty safe to say that season 3 will end with Michael being fired from Dunder-Mifflin.

10Posted by MarvSomething on April 27, 2007

Very funny episode!! Some observations-- drug store eyeglasses: $4, yellow shirt and tie ensemble: $7, making millions of viewers laugh at your impression of Dwight K. Shrute: Priceless! Katy Kicks Kelly's butt in the cheerleading dept. Creed got an innocent person canned and made a little money (less the cost of the card) in the process. Drew is losing his hold on Andy's cradle-robbing, sheet rock punching, trash-can kicking inner self. Angela is definitely in the right department--keep her away from the customers! When is Ryan going to get the no-sale monkey off his back? Was that Michael Scarn taking over in the conference room? The "facial" comment from Kevin was obscene, in my opinion.

11Posted by dunderhead on April 27, 2007

Fact- "Threat Level Midnight" emerged again.
Fact- Ryan was referred to as "Sweetcheeks"

Please beer me another episode like this.

12Posted by Pavlov on April 27, 2007

"Creed got an innocent person canned and made a little money (less the cost of the card) in the process. "

You are, of course, assuming Creed didnt STEAL the card. ;-)

13Posted by Pat D. on April 27, 2007

A-weem-a-way a-weem-a-way a-weem-a-way...

Jim trying to cheer up Andy/Drew on the way back from the High School was great. Moments like that are why we all love Jim.

Pat, Creed tossed the card after pocketting the money. The shot lingers on the the trash can by the security desk for a few seconds, showing the card.

14Posted by Blue Lightning on April 27, 2007

Heehee, yeah, I meant that he stole the card rather than pay for it at the store. I saw him throw it away at the end.

15Posted by Pat D. on April 27, 2007

Did anyone else notice that Creed used the exact same excuse for why the mill rep wasnt there as Dwight gave to Michael when he went to meet with Jan (emergency dental appointment)? Then Dwight gives a priceless look at the camera....absolutely hilarious.

16Posted by Joe on April 27, 2007

haha, I didn't notice that at first, Joe.

And yeah, I am sure Creed just swiped that greeting card from a drug store. It's just the Creed thing to do.

17Posted by Ryan on April 27, 2007

funny moments, though i thought the moments were threaded well together--seemes unfinished.

dwim--pretty observant of dwight to flirt with pam, have the messenger bag, flirt with the camera...fabulous.

jim as dwight--flawless. :) and it was so cute that he cheered up andy at the end.

random thought: the hs girlfriend called him andy. i thought he was drew now? is that just for the office?

18Posted by fauvistfly on April 28, 2007

Kelly with her "B-A-N-A-N-A-S" was too cute.

I also loved the expression Pam has as she's explaining to Michael that it takes longer to abbreviate everything when he cuts her off.

19Posted by Wesley on April 28, 2007

I loved Michael's apology video - his use of the term "boner" for the obscene watermark was hilarious, as was his use of the term "escape goat".

20Posted by Jean on April 28, 2007

favorite line of the episode-

"No, sweet cheeks. We need someone who's actually made a sale."

funny and cruel at the same time great episode.

21Posted by Ellie on April 29, 2007

"This day is Bananas! B-A-N-A-N-A-S!"
-Kelly

Oh, Kelly. Always true to yourself, aren't ya?

"We need two men on this. That's what she said. No time!"
-Michael

Well, we always knew Michael would make bad jokes even during times of crisis.

22Posted by Samantha on April 30, 2007

Andy: I want to take out a full page ad in your yearbook... two words--
Jim: Good luck.

Poor Andy can't seem to catch a break! It would be gross if he wasn't genuinely surprised and devastated... and besides, they didn't do anything illegal besides knock over some mailboxes.

I vote for Kelly as the Superstar-- it was a customer service episode after all! She brought it!

23Posted by Tracy on April 30, 2007

Best Episode in a long time! I have to say...my favorite line would have to be..."I swear to god, if I am fired, every single piece of copier paper in this town will have the Fword on it. The Fword. You have one day."

And, throughout the entire thing, I love how Dwight is mouthing the words. Ha. Great stuff.

Oh, and "Pam, run a comb through your hair."

Haha..Office Bliss

24Posted by BeckySue on April 30, 2007

So, wait......when Michael said "boner", was it actually clever writing and was he using it in the way that no one has used it since the 1950s? Boner means mistake......and, well, he just doesn't realize what he's saying? That would be Michael.

25Posted by John on April 30, 2007

On the cue card:
"I need this job. My mortgage is hundreds of dollars a month. With this job I can Barely Cover that. I have a company car, but I still have to pay for the gas. Gas prices are high and I have no savings whatsoever. And it wasn't even me. Its so not fair that they want me to resign."

Wow, that's like Micheal's third grade book report on why he needs this job.

26Posted by Black Pepper Snake on May 1, 2007

"uuhhhh... little comment"

27Posted by Doug on May 1, 2007

This episode was pretty good. The Dwight/Jim scenes of them impersonating eachother were really funny. I have no idea what direction this show is going anymore but I love it.

28Posted by Noah on May 1, 2007

I watch Jim's Dwight impression over and over because its SO DEAD ON. Even the way he moves his lips, haha.

I imagine John and Rainn had a hard time keeping a straight face when they did their respective impressions.

29Posted by Becky on May 1, 2007

My friend and I had this spell of repeating Kevin's version of "Dingo babies!" the entire Friday.

30Posted by Cecilia on May 1, 2007

End of the season I know what song I'll be singing.

"Now I have nothing....So God...Beer me strength"

I love to hate the "Jam" thing but I want the looks and interaction and love it...Jim as Dwight rocked...thought it could have gone further....

Michaels whole reaction to the crisis wound up in a rather stupid way though, the biatch comment to the gal was lame...it's over the top michael I thought...I mean Toby or Jan should have been there to intervene to make it funnier, was to dry for me

funny but not stellar

31Posted by Count Halpert on May 2, 2007

And to think all this might have been avoided if Devon was still around...

32Posted by Marv on May 3, 2007

Would someone beer me the identity of Jim/Dwight's bobblehead?

33Posted by Dunderhead on May 3, 2007

i heard it was ken from street fighter. i think it used to be on dwight's desk and jim must of swiped it. :)

34Posted by Theo Zissou on May 4, 2007

Just loved that episode.
Dwight mentionning animals having sex at the farm >> Perfection!
Only, being French, I don't understand Michael's line: "That's what she said. No time! But she did. NO TIME!"...
Could anyone help me? Please?..

35Posted by Kezac on May 10, 2007

The "That's what she said. No time! But she did. NO TIME!" line is a play off of one of Michael's jokes. Whenever anyone says anything that, if a woman had just said it, could carry any sexual meanings, then Michael always says "that's what she said". For instance, if someone said "it was so long and hard", Michael would say "That's what she said!"

Anyway, that line was Michael's urge to make the "That's what she said" joke warring with his urge to manage the crisis. He made the "that's what she said" joke, then yelled "NO TIME" (as in "there's no time for that right now!"), then made it again, then yelled NO TIME again.

36Posted by Adam on May 10, 2007