Sounds Like Trouble

iPod Giveaway Sunday30 July 2006

Alright, we’re in the home stretch here, guys. David Denman was kind enough to provide this week’s question regarding his alter-ego:

What should Roy do if he ever finds out about The Kiss?

Thanks, David. You all have until approximately August 7 at 12:15 AM PDT to submit your entry (be sure to follow the contest rules). Plenty of ways to run with this one, folks, so off you go.

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Ah, Roy, flexing his muscles in the warehouse and working up a sweat. All for the success of moving paper and bringing in another kind of paper home to his honey. HIS first kiss with fiancee Pam Beesly? Hm, well, he'll have to get back to you on that one, but speaking of kisses, he has been hearing rumors. For example, camera men, standing around, discussing how THEY would proclaim THEIR love for a certain receptionist... Todd Packer making vulgar hand motions to Jim behind Pam's back... that uptight Christian chick scowling and muttering comments about "unfaithfulness" under her breath... Roy couldn't help but be curious.

So when Roy began suspecting that good ol' Faaaaaaaaat Halpart had planted his 'best friend' lips all over Pam's worker bee mouth, he got a little pissed. Actually, the initial reaction was "Huh?" and then he remembered Pam's constant whining about being an artist. This led him to think back to the Booze Cruise. And what another artist did on the Titanic. And Roy got angry. But he couldn't confront Jim because they would probably deny it. He'd let the other warehouse guys (and Marge) put Jim... in his place... for the time being, but Roy realized that he would have to start trying to win Pam back. After all, he didn't want Pam to be let go and sunk down to the bottom of Lake Wallenpaupack, even if she did get on his nerves sometimes. He needed her paychecks to pay for the damn hot tub she wanted. And Mother Beesly was visiting for a BBQ that weekend; he needed some beer cash to get over the itchy sweater he'd have to wear. Jim would learn his lesson later. Also, perhaps Roy should stop seeing that red-haired lush upstairs if he wanted to get back on Pam's good side...

1Posted by Carly on July 31, 2006

Well since the question asks what should he do rather than what would he, the answer is obvious is it not? He should stand aside. I imagine anger of course would get the better of him maybe not to actually attack either one of them (it is a comedy), but maybe cause a scene and verybally attack both. In the end though (with all the apparent disinterest in his and Pam's relationship) he won't fight for the relationship and just let things end.

2Posted by Jen on July 31, 2006

Once Roy learns about the Kiss, he decided to do what he thinks is best and the real man thing to do, punch Jim. After he punches Jim, Pam gets mad at Roy and says she doesn't want to talk to him. Roy tries to make more of an effort to be like Jim. He asks her out on a date and tries to be a better man. He listens to her now and says he will change. Roy still does not encourage the graphic design program for Pam because he fears it will change their situation. Roy actually cooks dinner for Pam, which has not happened in a long while (outside of Jim), but the meal is nothing special. Pam likes that Roy is making an effort, but doesn't have the some kind of fun that she has Jim. Roy does not make her laugh too often. Pam also thinks that Roy will not continue to act like this forever. Pam wants Roy to get a better job, but ROy likes the job he has as the warehouse of Dunder-Mifflin. Roy feels that Pam has grown since they started dating and that he can't really do anything more to convince that they are meant to be together for the rest of their lives. Roy has to deal with the possibilty of seeing Pam and Jim together. He avoids going upstairs and rarely see Pam.

3Posted by Derek on July 31, 2006

Roy is confused and distraught. Pam has confessed. Jim kissed her and she kissed him back. Roy can’t believe it. In his diminished mental capacity brought on by hearing such news, he asks some of those upstairs what he should do about it. Roy receives much good advice:

Michael: “He whaaat? Oh, Gah, chee–, God, that’s Terrible. Oh man, what’r’ you gonna do? Oh, you’re asking me? Oh, ok, well…umm…well if it was me, I’d kick his ass. Not kick his ass…I do not condone violence in the workplace. Or out of the workplace. Anyplace. So, absolutely, do not kick his ass. Violence is highly overr—What? Ok…yep…happy to help…my door is always open…”

Phyllis: “Leave me out of it.”

Kelly: “Oh Roy, it was just a kiss. I mean, maybe something just overcame him and out of the blue he kissed her. Kissing’s fun.”

Dwight: “Halpert must die.”

Ryan: “Hey, sorry about that, man. But you know, could be the perfect “out”…”

Creed: “Oh, the receptionist…and which one is Jim?”

Angela: “I knew it. It was just a matter of time. I’ve kept score, you know. The hussy. You should look for someone worthy of your trust. Want a cookie?"

4Posted by garbagethrower on July 31, 2006

The key to winning back Pam is to think back to what made Pam fall in love with him back in high school. Roy knows the key is to speak to Pam's mother, who is Pam's best friend and confidante. Pam's mother loves Roy because she knows his history with her daughter. Roy will ask Pam's mother for advice, her blessing, and plead for her to talk to Pam for him. Roy will work hard on his appearance and attitude, proving that he will be a reliable and supportive husband. He will listen better to Pam and her needs. He even agrees to move so that Pam can accept an illustration job. Was Roy able to clean up his act in time to seal the deal on June 10?

5Posted by Jill on July 31, 2006

Since the question is what "should" Roy do, and if we assume he wants to be with Pam, then I think he shouldn't over-react, yell or pummel Jim with a large heavy object. Asking Pam directly whether she has feelings for Jim and whether she wants to get married and be with him (Roy) for the rest of their lives makes the most sense. Then, at least, he'll know the truth, even if that means canceling the wedding. And he should definitely NOT ask for advice from any of the men at the Office (in the warehouse or upstairs). That should be avoided in just about any situation.

For true cringe-worthiness, Roy should make Jim be present when he talks to Pam, and tell the truth about Jim’s own feelings and actions. Then at least he'd make Jim sweat it out.

If the question was what "would" Roy do, then the answer would probably be quite different... yelling and pummeling is much more likely.

6Posted by amywink on July 31, 2006

Yes, the key word here is should, rather than would. What Roy should do is realize he is no match for our dear Jim Halpert. As far as looks, talent, and creativity go, he just got the shorter end of the stick. He should just wish the happy couple their best and promise to be far away when they tie the knot, after a very short engagement. He'll miss Pam, but he's always wanted to explore the other fish in the sea as well-in fact, maybe he'll give Katy a call. Roy should just move down to someplace like Texas and pursue his warehouse career further.

Of course, we all know this will never happen. It'd be blissful, but far be it from the writers to let this happen. While Roy should do those things, the writers should not let them occur. Bring on the chaos and barfights!

7Posted by Gretchen on July 31, 2006

Roy's initial plans are to not worry about it, because it was just the aftermath of Halperts crush on Pam. But the rest of the warehouse gets Roy so fires up he confronts Jim in the middle of the office with everyone watching. He berates Jim to no end and jim stands there with nothing to say until Roy leaves. Embarrased, Jim finally makes the decision to transfer as he can no longer face Roy, Pam or anyone else in the office.

8Posted by JR on July 31, 2006

he should kill jim so he can go to jail and let jam be!

9Posted by hannah on July 31, 2006

KABOOM!

That's the sound of Roy's fist punching through a wall after he finds out Pam and Jim kissed. That mop-headed, aw-shucks sales boy must die!

But first, Roy should do something no one expects. He should take a breath, sit down, and figure out what went wrong. How could Pam have been drawn to another man? He should take a look at himself and realize he's been treating Pam pretty badly. He should resolve to work harder at their relationship, to appreciate her, and to support her dreams. He should remind her why she fell in love with him in the first place.

And then? He should give up.

Dude, Pam loves Jim. You seem like a nice guy, and thanks for trying, but you can't win. Accept defeat. See this kiss as a blessing in disguise for setting free two people who weren't right for each other, and be happy that the woman you love is truly happy.

Hey, remember Katy? She was pretty cute, and you sure did have a lot in common.... Isn't mom’s birthday coming up? I bet she'd love a new purse.

See? Things are looking up already.

10Posted by lindsay on July 31, 2006

first, i would have roy watch all two years of documentary footage.

then, if he’s still interested in holding on to pam, i’d tell him straight, “halpert’s one smooth operator. you’ve got to do and say the same things if want to win. to beat him, you’ve got to be him.

you’ve got to do things like save all of her garbage and give it to her as presents.

dude! i know it’s crazy, but you’ve seen the tapes, right? ok. let’s see, oh, stop talking to her for, like, a whole day.

tell her you’ve got some crazy disease.

act like you’re going to cry if someone says the wrong thing. chicks are all about sensitivity, right?

talk about guys and older women you would like to “do.” one word, two syllables: jealousy.

tell her that her favorite movies suck.

complain about the wedding to people.

remember, when children are around, focus on the little girls, not the boys.

and, take the final lesson from casino night. “no” don’t always mean “no,” bro.

i’m telling you, roy. do just half of this and everything will work out fine. and, dude, the best man will win in the end.

11Posted by ferd farkel on July 31, 2006

If Roy ever found out about “the kiss” Pam shared with Jim, he should come right out to Pam saying he knows what happened. Then, he would confess he too has shared a kiss with someone other than Pam during their engagement. At that point, Pam would realize that Roy’s a jerk and kick him to the curb. She’d run out the door, hop in the car, and drive over to Jim’s house confessing her love to him. Roy would be p-o’d with Jim and bully him a bit. Lots of dirty looks and he’d act too high and mighty to speak to him. In a short time after Pam broke up with him, Roy would have already found himself a new girlfriend and would show her off in front of everyone in the office.

12Posted by HYP3R6IR1 on July 31, 2006

Wow, that is a tough one. My question would be - WHEN is Roy finding this out? I mean, he will eventually whenever the documentary airs. At that point he and Pam could be married with 3 kids. Or Jim and Pam could be married with 3 kids. Or Roy and Oscar could be a couple...I guess I'll just go with that Pam tells him right after.

What he SHOULD do is get that this means Pam isn't "all in" in their relationship and try to work on wooing her back. I would expect he would be completely hostile towards Jim but Pam would be watching to see if he did Jim physical harm and if he did that would be the kiss of death.

I don't think Roy's a total idiot and he does love Pam in his way, so maybe the kiss would be a catalyst for him to get off his ass and be a more active participant in their relationship.

13Posted by Jill on July 31, 2006

Roy's problem is that he doesn't appreciate what he has in Pam. If he found out about the kiss I imagine he would react in one of two ways. He would either react with anger and shut out Pam, thus ending their relationship; if that wasn't the case he would react with fear and try to show his appreciation for Pam. The view we have of Roy is that he is someone that Pam settled for, but maybe there is something we aren't shown at Dunder Mifflin that is why they are together. As a fan of Jim I can say that I want Jim to end up with Pam, but that would obviously not be the best plot device to start the third season with.

14Posted by Paul Herberger on July 31, 2006

Roy decides to do something unforgettable for Pam to show her that he's serious about saving their relationship. Roy knows that Pam is a big fan of Taylor Hicks, and that in a couple of weeks Hicks is going to be performing at the Wachovia Arena in Wilkes-Barre. Although the show is long sold-out, Roy has a connection, and not only is he able to get tickets for seats near the stage, but also he's able to obtain Hicks's phone number. He calls Hicks to explain his situation and say that it would mean a lot to him if Hicks was able to do something special for Pam at the concert. They go to the concert and as the night progresses, while Pam is clearly enjoying the show, Roy is growing increasingly worried that Hicks forgot about his request. Hicks gets to the end of the set and announces that the next song will be the last one, and that it's dedicated to Pam Beesly, from her fiancé Roy. He then gives a spellbinding performance of "You Are So Beautiful" by Joe Cocker. Pam is overwhelmed, and at least for one night, she forgets about Jim Halpert.

15Posted by Jason on July 31, 2006

To steal from Lindsay....

KABOOM!

Thats the sound of Roy's fist punching through Jim Halpert's cranium.

Realizing that he will likely be killed if he doesnt fight back, Jim immediately assumes the preying-mantis kung fu stylings he has seen Michael practicing during work hours.

Bam! Thwack! Thud!.....Jim unleashes three quick strikes to Roy's face and gut.

Proud of his apparently successful strikes, Jim looks up, only to see an unfazed Roy laughing at his weak attacks.

Jim then suddenly finds himself flying through Michael's office window.

As he lies impaled over his boss' desk, Jim considers that it might have not been such a great idea to take fighting inspiration from the man who calls himself Michael Scarn.

16Posted by Pat D. on July 31, 2006

Here’s a little scenario after Roy finds out (but Pam doesn’t know that Roy knows yet) and I’ll say it’s the week after the casino night.

ROY: So Jim, what’s this I heard about you kissing Pam-is it true?
JIM: Yeah, it’s true.
ROY: Were you drunk or something?
JIM: Nope.
ROY: So this crush thing you had on her isn’t in the past is it? You still like her don’t you?
JIM: Yes I do.
ROY: Well, Pam’s mine and you can’t take her away from me. I know Pam considers you a friend, but I don’t want to see it go past anything like that. This is your first warning. If I think something is up again I’ll have to deal with you.
JIM: But what if it’s Pam that does it next time?
ROY: C’mon Halpert. Pam’s too good of a person to do something like that. She’s with me and that’s the way it’s gonna be. Just face it-you’ll never have her.

And so then Jim goes on to Stamford……

17Posted by Denise (ddker) on July 31, 2006

THE ALLIANCE 2: ROY AND DWIGHT

Most men in this situation would call for a physical fight in order to win the woman he loves.

In this case, Roy does not love Pam. Even so, he has dignity he needs to uphold!

He seeks the help of a colleague who, to describe him in a bit of an understatement, is "less than fond" of Jim: Dwight Kurt Schrute.

Dwight will automatically accept Roy's proposal and begin devising ways for Jim's payback. A rough draft of his plan would look something like this:

1) Lead Jim to the men's bathroom. Roy will be there to beat him up.
2) Lead Jim to the parking lot. Roy will be there to beat him up.
3) Lead Jim to the roof. Roy will be there to beat him up.

And:

4) Lead Jim to an abandoned shack. Roy will be there- but the booby trap that has been set will be the cause of Halpert’s ultimate demise! [His schemes become more gruesome and elaborate as the list goes down]

Roy should also let go of Pam and seek his true soul mate, “Katie”.

18Posted by Eden on July 31, 2006

Roy should thank Jim for making Pam so happy. He should tell Pam that he understands he doesn't have, or ever will have the kind of connection with her that she has with Jim. He should tell her that he realizes now he only tried to hold on to her all these years because he was afraid of being alone, but that now that she's found someone she's so perfectly in tune with, who makes her feel special, and loved, that he can't, in good conscience, let their Wedding or their relationship go on. He should tell her that she'll always have someone to talk to if she wants, and that he hopes they can remain friends, however impossible it may sound. He should tell her that it's been great for him to share his life with someone for as long as he has, that he’s grown as a person because of her, and that he regrets not paying more attention to her and supporting her when she needed him to. He should have said a lot of things. But he's in the back of a taxi-cab, drunk from a night out to Poor Richard's with Darryl, getting hammered after screaming at Pam for an hour and a half. The driver asks him where he's headed. He says "the Ramada, please." He should have said those things, but he didn't.

19Posted by Nick on July 31, 2006

Roy should not get mad, or overreact, instead he should clean the slate, and tell Pam what happened to him the night of "the kiss":

After he leaves Pam with Jim in the parking lot, he decides to stop by Poor Richards for a drink. As he's hanging at the bar, after a few beers, he spots Katie at the other end of the bar, with friends. He buys her a drink, and after several drinks, they kiss. She initiates it, but much like Pam and Jim, neither of them resist.

Roy and Pam decide the best thing to do is postpone the wedding indefinitely.

Then, as we enter into season three, we have a wedding that never happened, and all the possibilities...

20Posted by Brian S on August 1, 2006

Roy decided to take a more passive aggressive approach to the whole thing.

He does work in the warehouse and he usually packs Jim’s customers’ shipments. So he has been shipping them to Dwight’s customers. Jim can’t understand why his customers are not getting their paper goods… He has been getting calls everyday from angry customers who need their good ASAP, this has caused him to be so busy trying to deal with their calls and trying to fix the situation that he hasn’t even had time to talk to Pam.

Since he has been so busy and has not talked to her, Pam thinks that Jim is just blowing her off since The Kiss. She has been very upset and turned to Roy and even though they didn’t get married on June 10, he is now very much involved in the planning of their autumn wedding, just as Pam wanted it…

21Posted by Veronica on August 1, 2006

I think Roy's reaction will have alot to do with HOW he finds out about the kiss. If Pam sits him down & tells him at home it will be alot different than if he finds out through gossip at work. What he should do is step back & let Pam decide what she really wants to do, stay with him & get married, or see what could happen with Jim. What he definitely should NOT do is go pummel Jim or confront him in the office because Pam would never forgive him if he did that.

22Posted by Tracy on August 1, 2006

A cinquain for Roy:

Jackass
Roy Anderson
Discovered JAM's smooching.
He should evacuate Scranton.
Scumbag.

(With regards to David Denman, who must be a great actor to get me to so passionately dislike a character ;-)

23Posted by Loaded Teapot on August 1, 2006

A lot depends on how Pam feels and how she explains it to Roy.

If Pam confesses and apologizes, then Roy should play it cool. After all he might have commited some minor infidelity too…or, if he’s a schemer, he might see this as freeing him up for one.

If Pam confesses but doesn’t completely apologize, then it’s time for some serious discussion between the two of them to try saving the relationship, similar to her comment in “The Dundies” when Roy tries to manhandle her, “if you would have asked me, then you would know!” And he’ll say something like, “Baby, I’ll change.” But will he change?

If Roy asks, “Are you in love with him?” and Pam says, “Yeah, I think I am,” then Roy should strongly consider calling it quits. After that he’ll definitely go beat up Jim…and start drinking heavily, not necessarily in that order.

One last hypothetical: does Pam tell Roy that she initially rebuffed Jim but he kept after her anyway? If so, Jim will get beat up regardless of any other circumstances.

24Posted by DanBoy on August 1, 2006

So Pam tells Roy the wedding is off because she is in love with Jim. Roy gets pissed and confronts Jim. But you know that spine Jim grew on Casino Night [finally]? He uses it to clock Roy, making Roy realize this is going to be a fight. Too bad [or good] Roy also realizes it isn't Pam he wants to fight for. That knock to his head from Jim makes him understand that he, like Pam, has simply been in this relationship because it's comfortable and not because it's right. And it's not Pam he's really in love with anymore, it's Marge!

25Posted by jenny on August 1, 2006

This is what Roy should do in this situation:

Roy, upon hearing about the kiss, should work toward bettering his relationship with Pam. Roy needs to show Pam just how much she means to him. He should take her out on a “date-date”, get her an expensive gift every once in a while (not just a sweater, unless it’s an expensive sweater), listen to her “blah blah blah” when she gets home from work and not leave that all up to Halpert. Roy needs to show her that he's more than just sports talk, drinking, and bad jokes.

Of course, he'll probably just end up verbally attacking Jim in front of everyone (seeing as he doesn't mind making a scene) and there may be a little knuckle sandwich involved. Roy won’t realize just how much this may contribute to Pam choosing Jim instead. But of course, Kevin will be there to back Jim up.

26Posted by OfficeAddict on August 1, 2006

When he hears about the kiss, Roy should immediately go into the fetal position and cry in a corner for at least a day or two. He’ll come out of that feeling like a pansy, but as evidenced by Jim, Pam likes those “sensitive” guys. He should then go to the drug store. Buy some brown hair dye. Grow his hair out a little longer. Practice making his voice crack in a sexy manner.

There’s a pretty good chance Pam will think he’s Jim, at which point he can win her back by “tricking” her into a trip to Australia. Instead he’ll take her to Arizona. Well, maybe he should actually take her to Australia. After all, he’s not a complete jackass.

27Posted by Lauren on August 1, 2006

Roy wants to smash Jim's head in with a lead pipe. Not only that, he feels betrayed by Pam. He could tell she didn't exactly pull back on Jim's attempt to kiss her. He has no one to talk to. He thinks...

"Should I talk to the guys in the warehouse? Would they understand? Am I being a wuss?"

The next morning, he arrives back at Dunder Mifflin. Angela arrives at the same time. He meets her in the parking lot and asks her what she knows about Jim and Pam. Angela says she knows nothing, but lends her ear as he spills his guts about his doubts and frustrations. Uncharacteristically, Angela seems to show compassion. She assures Roy that God will make them pay for their actions. Roy looks at her, amused, and thanks her. Dwight arrives a moment later and she departs, but looks back at Roy before she enters the building. She winks. Roy watches her go and thinks to himself...

"Maybe there's more to that Christian chick than a cute butt."

28Posted by Neil on August 1, 2006

In a very strange twist, an alarming secret will be revealed that will shock viewers all over the world.

Pam is feeling guilty and debating what she should do when Roy suddenly explains he has something to reveal to Pam.

He begins by saying that he loves and doesn't want to hurt her, however has fallen for someone he has gotten to know while Pam was hard at work. She’s confused and Roy explains that it was this person’s unique personality, charm and jokes that attracted him. He fought off the feelings for so long, but just could not stop the feelings anymore. It was all unplanned but just happened that way. The conversation continues by saying he will always love Pam but feels this person may be his soulmate. As Pam hands back the engagement ring, Roy apologizes and tells her he didn’t mean to hurt her.

Pam’s a good sort and wishes him good luck with his new love interest yet doesn’t confess her secret.

Roy thanks her for understanding and says "I never knew I wanted to be with someone like Jim."

29Posted by Renee Lee Greco on August 1, 2006

Roy should kiss Jim so that they'll be even.

30Posted by Becky on August 2, 2006

When Pam wants to put the wedding off, Roy is irritated. "I thought that's what you WANTED?!" but shrugs it off. Wonders if he can use the wedding money on ATV's.
But when a warehouse worker tells him about seeing the kiss, he goes ballistic and drags Pam from the reception desk to the hallway for a loud, public argument. Lot of finger pointing and WTF's. Toby calls security. When Roy tries to get past her to yell at Jim, he accidentally knocks her down. The security guard escorts him out and Dwight spends the day planning elaborately unnecessary security procedures.
Now Roy is in the awkward position of seeing his secure world crumble. He wants Jim to be the bad guy, but it was only a kiss and after accidentally bruising up Pam and acting like an a##, he isn't getting a lot of sympathy from anybody. His buddies have seen him do worse than a simple kiss while he was out drinking. He is hurt that his "property" (oops, fiancee!) is slipping away but maybe it's more inconvenient than heartbreaking. He tries to win Pam back but single life is looking awful tempting after 10 years.

31Posted by Torie on August 3, 2006

Roy should take the tickets he bought for his honeymoon, and transfer them in his and Angela's names. She would apparently be receptive to that idea! It would solve problems for everyone involved, except for Dwight, who will now be convinced this was an elaborate prank on Jim's part.

32Posted by Genevieve on August 3, 2006

What Roy SHOULD do:
Realize that Pam doen't need him anymore. Move on.

What Roy WILL do:
He'll be angry at Jim. However, he has no idea of how to "fight" for his woman, so he'll probably just focus on his conflict with Jim. At no point will Roy understand that there's nothing but history between him and Pam. She has no need for him. After Roy realizes that Pam no longer has long-term plans for him, he'll most likely try to hurt her the only way he knows how. He'll try to make her jealous, thinking that she'll come running back to him.

We'll see Roy romance Kelly, much to the relief of Ryan. This will only make Pam see who Roy really is, a pig.

33Posted by Trevor on August 3, 2006

This is what Roy should do, rather than what he would do.
I think he should take Pam aside and talk to her about what they are going through. They haven't talked about their feelings and whats been going on with them in a while, so this would be a good time to catch up. This way Pam can let him know what happened, coming from her, rather than from someone else.

34Posted by Liz on August 3, 2006

After finding out about the kiss Roy will tell Pam that he's been a bad boyfriend and fiancee and he thinks that her and Jim are meant for each other and go for it.

Ok that's what I wish will happen, but I know it won't come true. I think Roy should be a little bit upset and confront both Jim and Pam. I don't think Roy should get physical because we've seen that side of him and know it's possible. I think Roy and Pam should take a break from each other to figure out how they really feel about their relationship.

35Posted by sara on August 3, 2006

After Phyllis overheard two of the documentary crew members discussing how great it was that they got Jim and Pam’s kiss on tape, she just had to tell someone the latest gossip. Kelly came into the break room shortly after that, and Phyllis shared the news. Of course, everyone knew by the day’s end. Even Darryl had heard after bringing some delivery receipts up to Michael. Michael spilled the beans to Darryl, who was on his way out to Poor Richard’s with Roy.

Sitting down to some cold beers, Darryl casually asks what Roy is going to do now that his fiancé has kissed Jim. Roy is shocked, but pretends that he already knew.
Over the next several hours, the truth sinks in. Roy was hurt and shocked, but also humbled and starts to realize that he could lose Pam. Over the next few days, weeks, months, Roy sets out to show her that he really does still love her. He starts to listen when she talks, takes her to art shows and buys her art supplies, and starts putting her needs above his own. Roy realizes if he really wants Pam, then he should do whatever it takes.

36Posted by Stella on August 3, 2006

It’s tempting to say he should do the right thing and step aside. That’s not only unlikely, it’s delusional. We’re talking about his fiancé, just weeks before their wedding. Besides, what fun is that? This is going to be harsh, but here goes. Roy should kick Jim’s ass for messing around with his girl. He should key his car, egg his house, TP his lawn, spraypaint his car and prank-call his mom late at night.

Assuming Pam doesn’t dump him, or vice-versa, he should make her feel as badly as possible. He should have her cook his favorite dinner every night then go drinking with his pals, come home late and enjoy the inevitable guilt sex. And if they split up, he should make it his goal to nail her best friend, her sister if she has one, Katy the purse girl and Angela. Even if this doesn’t drive Pam crazy, it’ll sure make him feel better.

Of course, he may need a new job, an HIV test and bail money after all that. But a man has to defend his honor, and some things you just can’t let slide.

37Posted by Brian on August 3, 2006

Roy should kick Jim's ass, then show Pam a night she'll never forget (meaning a Rocky movie with dinner then doing the hibbity bibbity all night long).

38Posted by Brian Q. on August 3, 2006

I'm going to take Pam aside and for once, talk to her about her "things like her thoughts and feelings." What was running through her mind when she kissed Jim? How long has she had feelings for him? Was it my Valentine's Day present? The internship? The lack of "dates"? If she confesses that she has feelings for Jim, I'll ask her if that is what she really wants: to see other people, call off the engagement, reevaluate things... Then I'll confront Jim. I thought we straightened everything out about this crush. I thought it ended a long time ago; I trusted him to take care of her on Casino Night. Did I need to make it clearer that "take care" did not mean "plant a wet one on her?" I'm pretty pissed at him and want some answers!

I guess if I'm convinced that the two of them aren't going to be happy without each other, I would let them be together. Maybe I'll ask Jim for that Katy's number. And Darryl for that sexual harrassment video chick's digits. Maybe this is fate's way of telling me it's time for me to get with some redheads.

39Posted by Kristina on August 4, 2006

Roy was on the couch when Pam came home. “Hey, babe,” he said, squinting up at her. “Didn’t lose any money, did you?”

“No, I didn’t play any more,” Pam replied, smoothing down her blue dress. “…Roy?”

“Yeah,” he answered as he stood up to stretch.

“Hey, look at me.”

Her voice was very quiet. Bad sign. “What is it, babe? I’m half asleep. This can’t wait until tomorrow?” He tried to guide her down the hall.

She didn’t budge. “No, it can’t. Roy, I hardly ever tell you how I really feel, but I…um, think maybe that’s because you don’t really seem to…care. But someone else does.”

“What?”

“He really listens to me.”

“Who, Halpert? You guys are just friends.”

Pam spoke quickly. “He kissed me tonight.”

“What the...?! You’re taken!”

“I kissed him back.” Pam looked frightened.

He was awake now. For all the world, he wanted to punch anything in his path, especially Halpert’s face, but something paralyzed him. The fear of losing her gripped his insides and he felt sick.

“But I love you,” he said, hardly able to get the words out.

“You have to show me,” she said.

“I will.”

And he meant it.

40Posted by Kristen on August 4, 2006

Roy will try to pick a fight with Jim, only to find out that Jim has actually learned Kung Fu while he was a teenager, and earned a black belt. He just didn't tell anyone about it. Mostly just because he doesn't want to have matches with Dwight.

Meanwhile, Pam is pleasantly suprised that Jim knows martial arts, and she realizes that she's also in love with Jim, too. So she chooses him instead of Roy.

41Posted by Katherine on August 4, 2006

Roy: "Pam, is this true?"
Pam nods.
Roy: "I thought Jim was gay. You know, he enjoyed gabbing with you so much."

42Posted by Sean on August 5, 2006

Roy should definitely not respond with violence. He should be hurt, disappointed, betrayed—all things that would make the situation even more difficult for Pam. He should realize why Pam is attracted to Jim, because Jim listens to her and enjoys her company, and Roy should make an effort to enjoy spending time with Pam more. He should offer to postpone the wedding so they can work on their relationship.

43Posted by Alison on August 5, 2006

Roy will go to fight Jim. When Roy kicks Jim in the "jewls" Him doesn't flinch because. . .he doesn't have anything down there. Roy looks shocked. Pam sees this, jumps up, and runs out of the room screaming. She just makes it to the bathroom before she blows chunks. Roy is laughing hysterically. Jim is bawling. And Pam keeps screaming:

"No wonder he was so sensitive!"

44Posted by Michele on August 5, 2006

I think that what Roy should do and what he needs to do is show Pam that he actually loves her. While he has every reason in the world to be upset with her and hurt by her betrayal (because as much as we love JAM, that's what it was), what would help his case the most is if he were to show Pam why she should be with him and not Jim.

45Posted by Crystal on August 6, 2006

I think if Roy ever found out about the kiss, he would call up all his Bishop O'Hara football buddies to come and scare Jim into either leaving her alone or to transfer. Roy doesn't strike me as the type of person to physically hurt Jim. Plus he would risk losing Pam if he did hurt Jim.

46Posted by Heidi Sylvanowicz on August 6, 2006

If Roy learns of The Kiss, he should ask Pam for the truth. She'd say, "Yes, it's true." He should ask her the circumstances in which it happened. She'd tell him everything, as painful to Roy as it may be. He should ask Pam if she's in love with Jim. She'd say, "Yeah, I think I am." He should ask her what she wants to do about their wedding plans. With tears in her eyes, Pam would silently hand him her engagement ring.

Roy should be devastated by the loss of the one and only woman he ever loved and the relationship he believed would last forever. He should think about where it all went wrong and seek solace in friends and family. He should find another job, housing, and build a whole new life, outside of Scranton.

Later, Roy should find that the change he's undergone has made him happier than he imagined. Of course he'll miss Pam and certain parts of his past, but he'll silently thank Jim for having the courage to step-up, regardless of the consequences, and be a man. The man Pam really loved, even before she knew it herself, even before The Kiss.

47Posted by Lori on August 6, 2006

What SHOULD Roy do? He should realize that Pam and Jim are meant for each other and step aside. Be a man about it. After all, he takes Pam for granted and will probably find someone to take her place really soon.

48Posted by Thirsty Babies on August 6, 2006

After the very likely violent or enraged response upon finding out (and again this depends upon how he finds out), Roy should take some time to think things out. If he really loves Pam or believes that he loves Pam, he shouldn't step aside yet, especially because he can't (and neither can Pam yet) be sure that Jim is really the right one for her.

He should then talk to Pam and postpone the wedding, taking the pressure off of her, telling her that it's okay for her to have second thoughts. As hard as it is for him, Roy should admit that what may be best is for them to take some time away from one another and agree to an open relationship so that they can each make sure that marriage is the best option. Jim and Pam are now free to date casually as friends. Roy takes out Angela, unknowingly involving himself in yet another love triange.

49Posted by Sam on August 6, 2006

Season 3, Episode 1, Intro
(All Alternating Talking Heads)

Jim: The summer was great; I missed you guys.

Roy: Good. Am I done?

Pam: It was…interesting.

Roy: Yeah, she told me about the kiss - the day of the wedding.

Pam: I had to tell him, I felt like I was lying and I couldn’t have a relationship with lies.

Angela: Hussy

Pam: He kissed me.

Roy: Halpert kissed her.

Jim: We both kissed – but she definitely kissed back – definitely.

Kevin: I heard they made out…and had sex…

Jim: It was just a kiss. It was just a really, REALLY great kiss.

Kevin: I heard they made out…and had sex…

Roy: What am I going to do to Jim? Nothing. You’re sure the camera’s off? (Pauses, leans in and whispers) I kissed someone too – don’t tell Dwight.

Angela: Roy’s innocent, he’s the victim; I should send him a card.

Jim: Threat? No, he’s no threat.

Pam: Roy’s improved. He cooks – tries to cook. He also sent me these flowers. See… (Pam holds up a bouquet).

Pansies
Angels Breath
Marigolds

They spell my name. (Blushes and giggles)

Jim: Really? He has? – I redact my last statement.

(Cue Intro)

50Posted by Joseph on August 6, 2006

(Talking head of Roy)
Roy: So I uh, I guess Jim kissed Pam. (Pause) Do I think that has anything to do with Pam postponing the wedding? (Looks indignant and confused) Why would that have anything to do with it?

Fast-forward two months. Roy, convinced by Pam that the Kiss meant nothing, has since forgotten that Jim Halpert might have been a threat. No official “second date” for the wedding has been set. The word around the office is “downsizing” once again. But not for Scranton—for Stamford. Michael announces that there will be some new employees joining the office.

Dwight: Oh God. He’s back.
Jim: Oh hey Dwayne. How’s it going?
Dwight: It’s Dwight. (Looks at the camera, angry)

Later in the day, Roy is at Pam’s desk. Dwight wanders up.

Roy: So what’s with all these new people?
Dwight: They should’ve just fired Jim. Nobody wants him back.
The camera pans to Pam.
Dwight: I’ll tell you what though; his malfeasance will not be tolerated this time. I just got my orange belt.

(Talking head of Roy)
Roy: Am I gonna kick Halpert’s ass? No. Actually, Dwight volunteered to do it for me. Actually, like, surprisingly fast.

51Posted by Catherine Zeta-Jones on August 6, 2006

Roy should settle his dispute with Jim via a high-stakes, no-nonsense, one-on-one coin flip, like they did in the old days.

RULES:

- The match consists of one toss of a standard U.S. Quarter.
- Flipping must be executed by an unbiased party, like Pam for instance.
- The coin must hit the floor. No catching and then flipping to the back of the opposite hand. That’s lame.

The losing party may not...:

...change the rules to best two out of three.
...whine about “interference” should the coin happen to take a wild bounce off a shoe, rock, or pet/child.
...keep the quarter.

52Posted by Trent on August 6, 2006

Roy wakes up from a deep and drunken slumber. He stumbles out of bed and heads for the door. The door swings open revealing a beach and ocean. The sudden burst of heat on Roy’s face makes him remember how he got to this island.

Pam had been moping around the house for several weeks after Casino Night. He had no idea what could be bothering her, after all they were getting married. I mean he is every girls dream so Pam should be thrilled to have managed such a catch. One morning, she practically shouted at him that Jim Halpert had kissed her and that she needed some time to think before she could marry Roy.

Intense anger had overtaken Roy. He immediately found Jim and punched him in the face. Jim had not retaliated, but that stupid moon-faced kid called the cops. Roy fled and managed to get a flight out of the country since the three strikes your out rule was not something that Roy wanted to experience first hand.

Coming out of his reverie, Roy picks up a bottle of rum, pees in the ocean, and starts scanning for cute chicks.

53Posted by Elizabeth N on August 6, 2006

He was still stunned, days after he found out from the uptight Christian chick who overheard it from one of the documentary crew members. Frickin’ Jim Halpert kissed his fiancée. Now what should he do?

Roy consulted Darryl, who had a way with the ladies. Darryl wisely advised against shoving a ham & cheese sandwich down Halpert’s throat or running over Jim’s Corolla with Roy’s truck. Having a revenge affair with the redheaded purse girl might be fun, but probably wasn’t a great idea.

Assuming that Roy actually loves Pam, Darryl suggested a few alternatives. If Pam loves Jim, Roy should let her go and to be happy with the sales geek and he could find someone more deserving of him. If Pam is conflicted and can’t decide between them, Roy has to fight for her. Not by clocking Halpert, but by treating his woman like a lady, like she’s the most precious person in the world--for a change.

Or, he could just throw Pam over and try that purse girl thing after all. It would only take a few snorkel shots to get the ball rolling…

54Posted by smart little cookie on August 6, 2006

When Roy finds out about the kiss will determine what he should do, in my opinion. If he’s lucky and Pam writes the whole thing off to a crush and decides to marry Roy anyway, he’ll likely find out about it years down the road. One of those “Remember that guy named Jim that I worked with years ago at Dunder-Mifflin?” kind of things. At that point, realizing how fortunate he is to have Pam in his life, Roy should just laugh it off as something that happened in the past but doesn’t affect the present.

If, however, the kiss has made Pam reassess her relationship with Roy and she tells him so, it’s no laughing matter. At this point, getting mad or getting even would not be a productive use of Roy’s energy. Instead, he needs to get to the bottom of what’s really causing Pam to think twice about marrying him. He needs to wake up and realize what he has in Pam and do whatever it takes to salvage the relationship. And that starts with understanding that “the best sex of your life” by itself does not constitute a valid Valentine’s Day gift.

55Posted by Brad on August 6, 2006

Roy is convinced the only explanation for the kiss is because Jim and Pam work together. His logic therefore instructs him to get Jim fired - telling Pam to quit would just lead to an argument.
Roy enters Michael’s office.
Roy: I’ve got tell you something Michael. It’s hard but -
Michael: That’s what she said.
Roy: What? No, Michael, listen, I didn’t want to tell you but I saw something happen between Jim and Jan at casino night. They were outside together, and I caught them making out.
Michael: Yeah right. Good one, where’s Darryl?
Roy: No, I’m sorry man. I just thought you needed to know.
Michael: Well that’s just great. I thought he still had a thing for your girl. Why’s he got to move in on my territory?
Roy (angry): You knew about that?
Michael: What? I mean, well, no. (Pause) Maybe.
Roy (outraged): You knew Halpert always had something for Pam?
Roy grabs a Dundee and throws it at Michael’s head. Michael ducks and it goes out the window, knocking Dwight in the head as he’s outside on a security check. Roy flees and after Dwight regains consciousness a few days later his manhunt begins…

56Posted by Joseph on August 7, 2006

Comments have been closed for this entry. Thanks for participating.

57Posted by James on August 7, 2006