It is a well known fact that there are certain things that should never be placed at the foot of your bed: nails, poisonous snakes, and George Foreman Grills. Michael learns this lesson the hard way. Dwight speeds to his rescue, but not before running his car into an electrical pole and developing a brand new personality. Pam enjoys the company of her altered officemate, but the friendship is short-lived: a midday crisis rattles the office and leads to a visit to the hospital where we learn of Michael’s true intentions.

The Michael Scott School of Hard Knocks

This episode was basically an instructional video in how to be a complete dick. I know my share of inconsiderate bastards, but none of them holds a candle to the bastardage that was on display here.

Michael : Shotgun!
Jim : You don’t think you should sit in the back with Dwight?
Michael : Pshh.
[Cut to interview]
Michael : The rules of shotgun are very simple and very clear. The first person to shout “shotgun” when you’re within the sight of the car gets the front seat. That’s how the game’s played. There are no exceptions for someone with a concussion.

I think Michael could use a concussion of his own — it might knock some sense into him. The trick would be getting through that thick skull of his.

Dwight Being Dwight

Bizarro Dwight comes off as a strange mix between the Pillsbury Dough Boy and Dustin Hoffman from Rain Man.

Dwight : I have to go to the hospital.
Pam : I know.
Dwight : Where are we going?
Pam : I just wanna say good-bye, ok?
Dwight : Well I’ll be back, I mean–
Pam : Yes, I know, but it’s gonna be different.
Dwight : Why?
Pam : It’s just hard to explain.
Dwight : Oh, Pam, you’re adorable.  [Taps Pam on her nose]
Pam : Oh, my goodness. Come here.  [Hugs Dwight]
Dwight : Oh, huggy hugs!

I don’t know about you, but I’m thinking Dwight needs to be concussed more often. Brain damage is overrated, anyway.

The Many Faces of Jim

Maneuvering through traffic with two madmen in tow can’t be easy. Fighting them off with a water spray bottle at the same time… well, that’s just insane.

Michael : What do I write under reason for visit?
Jim : Concussion.
Michael : [Scratches his old answer out on the paperwork]
Jim : What did you write?
Michael : [Clears throat]  Nothing. I wrote bringing someone to the hospital.
Jim : So you thought they meant your reason for coming to the hospital.

Unbelievable. Michael operates at a mental capacity that is dangerously close to being braindead.

Confessions of a Receptionist

Whenever Michael needs something inappropriately Michael-like, he immediately turns to two people: Pam and Ryan, in that order. Make what you will of that.

Michael : Pam, messages, please?
Pam : You didn’t have any.
Michael : Really. Well, seemed, uh, very important to you earlier… that you need to stay and…
Pam : Do my job?

There we go. It’s been a while since we’ve had a good zinger from Pam.

The Jim/Pam Index

After taking us to the brink last week, the writers did the sensible thing and reined things in with The Injury. There is literally no JP material to speak of here. Next week is shaping up to be an entirely different matter, but for now, the index remains safely at Even.

Supporting Nod

I’m glad they introduced this unexpected attraction between Dwight and Angela. Otherwise, we wouldn’t have her conspicuously delievered lies.

Dwight : [Collapses at his desk]  Oh! Oh, oh…
Jim : Oh, ok, I think we need to take him to the hospital, ’cause I’m pretty sure he has a concussion.
Michael : Oh, now you feel some compassion for him?
Angela : He needs to go right now, and you’re his emergency contact. I think you should go with him.
Michael : Why don’t you go with him?
Angela : I… barely know him.

She is totally into him.

The Superstar

This one was close. Michael puts up a valiant fight, but Dwight has the power of mental trauma at his side. Combine this with his already freakishly odd disposition, and he can’t be beaten.

Transmissions from the Office

  • Michael : [Playing over the speakerphone]  Oh, God!
    Jim : Hey, whoa, Michael.
    Michael : Oh, God!
    Jim : It’s ok. It’s Jim. Just say again, really loudly, what happened.
    Michael : Ok.  [Blubbers]  I burned my foot, very badly, on my Foreman Grill, and I now need someone to come and bring me in to work.
    Jim : You burned your foot on a Foreman Grill.

    Perhaps colorful plastic toys made for toddlers aren’t the only items deserving of garishly huge warning labels.

  • Michael : I enjoy having breakfast in bed. I like waking up to the smell of bacon. Sue me. And since I don’t have a butler, I have to do it myself, so most nights before I go to bed, I wil lay six strips of bacon out on my George Foreman Grill. Then I go to sleep. When I wake up, I plug in the grill. I go back to sleep again. Then, I wake up to the smell of crackling bacon. It is delicious, it’s good for me. It’s a perfect way to start the day. Today, I got up, I stepped onto the grill, and it clamped down on my foot. That’s it. I don’t see what’s so hard to believe about that.

    Delicious, yes. Good for you, not so much. I’d suggest leaving the grill on his nightstand, except he’d probably just grill his hand while reaching for the snooze button, or get crackling bacon grease in his eye, or something.

  • Michael : Ok, can someone come and get me, please? Ryan?
    Phyllis : Michael, you should stay home and rest.
    Michael : There’s no toilet paper here. Can Ryan–tell Ryan to bring toilet paper. Can you tell him that?

    This is an incredibly strange conversation.

  • Pam : Michael, why don’t you call your girlfriend?
    Michael : I don’t have a girlfriend.
    Jim : But, you said you went out with her this weekend.
    Michael : That was all made up.

    Apparently, burning your foot in a Foreman Grill has the side-effect of rendering you foolishly honest.

  • Michael : Pam, I just want you to treat me like you would a family member who’s undergone some sort of serious physical trauma. I don’t think that’s too much to ask.
    Pam : Do you want some aspirin because you seem a little fussy.
    Michael : No, I don’t want some aspirin! Yeah, I am fussy! Aspirin’s not gonna do a damn thing. I’m sitting here with a bloody stump of a foot!
    Dwight : Pam, I am assistant regional manager, and I can take care of him. Part of my duties are to…

    Having Dwight space out in the middle of a sentence is funny for reasons I can’t explain. It just is.

  • Michael : Paaaam. P-Pam!
    Pam : [Sighs]  Oh God.
    [Phone rings]
    Pam : [Answers the phone]  What?
    Michael : Come here, please.
    Pam : Tell me before I come there.
    Michael : [Sighs]  Wanna help me to rub butter on my foot?
    Pam : No.
    Michael : Pam, please. I have Country Crock.
    Pam : Eh–no.

    I’m pretty sure being asked to rub butter on your boss’s foot qualifies as a breach of something sacred.

  • Jim : So, I guess Pam and Dwight are friends now.
    [Cut to Pam]
    Pam : Oh, God, no. Dwight isn’t my friend.  [Pauses for a moment]  Oh my God, Dwight’s kind of my friend!

    Pam just felt her world get rocked.

  • Dwight : Hmm. You like candy?
    Angela : It’s alright.
    Dwight : ‘Cause you’re sweeter than candy.
    Angela : What is wrong with you?
    Dwight : [Spanks Angela]
    Angela : Hey!

    This scene is awesome beyond words.

  • Michael : Oh!
    [Sound of crashing through the restroom door]
    Michael : Arggh. Arrgh, help. Help.
    Toby : What–what happened?
    Michael : I fell off the toilet. I’m caught… between the toilet and the wall.
    Toby : What do you need?
    Michael : Ugh, not you. Someone else. Get Pam.
    Toby : I don’t think Pam’s gonna want to come into the men’s room.
    Michael : Get Ryan. Oh! He needs to lift me, and he needs to clean me up a little bit. Bring a wet towel.
    Ryan : [Shakes his head]
    Toby : Ryan is, uh…
    Ryan : [Makes throat-slitting gesture]
    Toby : … dead.

    I was tempted to give Ryan supporting honors on the basis of his facial expressions here alone. Toby was fantastic in this scene as well. Every line he delivers has that distinct Toby trademark.

  • Michael : Can I ask you all a question? Do you know what it’s like to be disabled?
    Phyllis : Um, I had scoliosis as a girl.
    Michael : Never heard of it. No, a real disability, not a woman’s trouble.
    Creed : When I was a teenager, I was in an iron lung.
    Michael : Wha? How–how old are you?

    Two things: One, Michael better hope he never crosses paths with a feminist group, and two, Creed is awesome.

  • Stanley : I’m not disabled, and neither are you.
    Michael : Ok, what does this look like to you, Stanley?
    Stanley : Mail Boxes Etc.
    Michael : Shut… it.

    I love how Stanley has absolutely no problem undermining any point Michael attempts to make.

  • Michael : You people are jerks. Imagine if you had left Stevie Wonder on the floor of that bathroom instead of me.
    Phyllis : Oh, we wouldn’t. We love Stevie Wonder.
    Michael : [Sighs in frustration]  I burned my foot! Ok, twenty minutes, conference room, everybody’s in there!
    Dwight : [Turns and looks at Creed]  Dad?

    I don’t think Phyllis realizes how deeply she cut Michael with that one. Or maybe she’s just exacting delightful revenge on him for all the times he’s put her down. Way to go, Phyllis.

  • Jim : I want to clamp Michael’s face in a George Foreman Grill.

    Not officially sanctioned use of a Foreman Grill, but exceptions can be made in the event of extreme jackass-ism.

  • Ryan : I ground up four extra-strength aspirin and put them in Michael’s pudding. I do the same with my dog to get him to take his heartworm medicine.

    Lassie would give Michael a run for his money.

  • Dwight : Where are we going?
    Jim : Get inside.
    Dwight : Where are we going?
    Jim : We’re going to Chuck E. Cheese.
    Michael : Chuck E. Cheese? Oh god, I’m so sick of Chuck E. Cheese.
    Jim : We’re going to the hospital, Michael.
    Michael : I know, just saying.

    This is bad, even by Michael’s standards. Like, really bad.

  • Michael : Dwight, what is your middle name?
    Dwight : Danger.

    Check out that quick reaction time. I think that concussion did Dwight some good.

  • Doctor : So I’m ordering a CAT scan.
    Dwight : What is that?
    Michael : Look, since you have the machine up and running, can I just stick my foot in and we can take a look?
    Doctor : Well, for a burn, you really just need to look at the outside of the foot.
    Michael : Ok, what kind of machine is that?

    I think they call them eyes.

Odds and Ends

  • The fact that Michael only brushes for ten seconds leads me to believe that he’s going to lose all of his teeth before he turns fifty.
  • That scene at the end with Angela eavesdropping on Pam’s phone call with Jim reminded me of prairie dogs.
  • The sight of Michael attempting to stick his foot in the CAT scan machine was too much for me to handle.

The Story in Pictures

Gallery Image

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Dwight was awesome this episode.

"Aw...huggy hugs!"

1Posted by Brian on January 12, 2006

Awesome...Is there another office romance going on???

2Posted by Justin on January 12, 2006

Michael:"What does this look like to you?!"

Stanley:"Mailboxes, Etc."

LMFAO

3Posted by Candice on January 12, 2006

man i gotta say hands down the best scene was when dwight and michael and jim are in the car and michael is screaming "gimme the bottle!! gimme the bottle!!" and jims squirting the both of them.....hilarious...not much for the JP index though

oh and justin? after seeing dwight and angela in Jim's bushes id definitely say theres another office romance

4Posted by matt from montana on January 12, 2006

looks like things really cooled between Jim and Pam. Pam is sticking with this Roy thing and when Jim brought up that Dwight was acting odd, she actually defended Dwight!

I do have to hand it to Dwight. He and Ryan should share supporting nods in this episode, with Michael taking the cake.

5Posted by Joe on January 13, 2006

"You can't fire me! I don't work in the van!" - Dwight Kurt Schrute

I agree, the scenes in Merideth's van were great.

The guest speaker had hints of Mr. Brown in him, but I'm glad he left before putting up with Michael's comments. That scene got close to running too long, I'm glad they cut it off when they did.

My new favorite trait of Jim is that makes friends with EVERYONE (except those in the warehouse...)
Hot Girl: We don't like it, but he got to go on a date with Katy the same day he met her.
The Fire: he waved/gives a little "what's up" to one of the firemen when they arrive.
E-mail Survailance: He throws a party, and even the IT guy goes!
Booze Cruise: He's friends with the vending machine guy who stashes all of Dwights belongings.
The Injury: He's the one who is talking with the building manager after his 'speech' and walks him back to the elevator.

6Posted by laura. on January 13, 2006

um... also, I nearly cried when Michael was on the phone with his mom.

7Posted by laura. on January 13, 2006

I loved the "gotcha" at the end; it was too perfect. For a split second, you actually believe that Michael has a shred of humanity when he goes with Dwight for his cat scan. But the next moment, the writers shatter that illusion when Michael's ulterior motive is revealed. Fantastic. I nearly died laughing!

8Posted by Samantha on January 13, 2006

The smashing into the pole / stumbling / vomiting / driving off scene was almost too funny to watch.

...and when Dwight spanked Angela.

HEE-larious.

9Posted by Bill on January 13, 2006

Pay special attention to the mri scene. Michael has his hand resting on dwight's sock covered foot and he sniffs his hand right after he moves it. This episode was the funniest episode so far. More dwight is definately a good thing. It also seemed that the jim/pam thing was forgotten for this episode, but after booze cruise last week, I don't know if i could take more jim/pam.

10Posted by Todd Packer on January 13, 2006

This was one of the best episodes, IMO. We really needed just a funny one after the angst of 'Booze Cruise.'

Michael's explanation of his injury was one of the most hilarious things I have ever seen, even for The Office.

11Posted by Liv on January 13, 2006

Yeah, when Michael smelled his hand after it was on Dwight's sock, that was it for me. I still can't stop laughing. Then, he stuck his foot in the MRI (Why??! To check a burn?!) and cemented this episode as the funniest this season. (Sorry "The Fight." You're number two now.)

12Posted by JP on January 13, 2006

Agreed, a definite (and welcome) shift in gears from the last episode. Gotta agree with you, Bill, the scene by the vending machine with Dwight and Angela was a highlight. The conversation between Toby and Michael through the restroom door was also a keeper.

13Posted by James on January 13, 2006

Most certainly the best episode so far. I laughed throughout. Everyone was SO funny! I like it when Ryan eats the string cheese and says, " around age 12, I just started goin' for it." Then later, Toby says, "Ryan is is...dead."

The writers are genius. In just one episode Michael grilled his foot, we learn Creed had an iron lung when he was a teenager, Tom Hanks was on the wall twice(!), and Jim squirted water on Dwight to bring him to life as needed.

14Posted by sam on January 13, 2006

heres a tidbit for you-- "The Injury" was actually written by the actress who plays Kelly.

oh and i love the little bit about the Russian songs for $0.02. It was so out of character for dwight to be so nice and helpful...i agree its one of the funniest and i think a great little side joke is when dwight thought creed was his dad. LMAO!

15Posted by matt from montana on January 13, 2006

Dwight typing his name over and over.

16Posted by Jason G. on January 14, 2006

I have to say that laura took the words right out of my mouth concerning Jim. I noticed his ability to make friends in the fire ep with the firefighter. He's so cute!

17Posted by pam on January 14, 2006

That picture of Dwight huggy hugging pam, yeah, that'll never happen again. Better keep that one.

18Posted by Todd Packer on January 15, 2006

Does anyone know where I can get a picture of Dwight renaming that file "DWIGHT SCHRUTE...."? That made me laugh so hard.

Email me at dewthedo@gmail.com

19Posted by BJ on January 15, 2006

There were so many fab things about this ep. I loved the squirt bottle...hysterical. But I also like that at the end of the scene with Dwight/Pam and the iPod cover-thing, that when Dwight was leaving Pam, he tapped her desk...just like Jim does. SO FUNNY!!! And I thought for sure that Angela was going to get super jealous of Pan and Dwigt.

20Posted by KS on January 15, 2006

I think my favorite scene has to be the one where Michael is talking to his mom on the phone - I just found that simply hilarious (and kind of sad)

And when Michael explained how he got his foot burned on his George Foreman Girll - whoa - that's just terrific acting from Steve Carell's behalf.

21Posted by Marcy on January 15, 2006

yup...he truly made the story believeable

22Posted by matt from montana on January 15, 2006

I loved this episode, the ending was so abrupt but it was hilarious all the same. It's really funny to watch again after you know Dwight has a concussion; the first time through I thought I'd imagined him calling Pam "Pan" and Creed "Dad" and I didn't know what to make of him typing his name over and over. I'd say this is probably the best episode yet, although I really liked the Chili's one too.

23Posted by moxie cotton on January 15, 2006

if Steve Carell doesn't win a Golden Globe right now? I'm gonna be... SO ... ANGRY.

No no, if the OFFICE (and its cast) doesn't win anything, I'ma be so angry.

SEE YOU LATER, PAN.

24Posted by Jay K. Cagatay on January 16, 2006

A big hurrah for Steve Carell! I have to say, I was only watching for his category, and he actually made it entertaining.

Also, I'm starting to see some problems of having a 15-second-long theme song. Haha.

25Posted by Graham on January 16, 2006

Hey James and all your Northern Attackers. I wanted to let you know that Give Me My Remote (www.givememyremote.com) has just posted an exclusive interview with Jenna Fischer (Pam) and John Krasinski (Jim). It's a MUST read for all fans of The Office.

A special thanks to James, the creator of the BEST Office site out there, for his support!!

26Posted by KS on January 17, 2006

Not that this counts as JP index, but I have to comment on Jim's expression when he's talking about Dwight and Pam being friends now. It's not... quite... jealous, it's just a little miffed. Like torturing Dwight was part of their bond and now she's violating it.

And that was a great spot on Dwight tapping Pam's desk like Jim does, I totally didn't notice that!

27Posted by Elly on January 17, 2006

HE DID IT!
HE DID IT.
OH BLESSED HFPA!!!!

28Posted by Jay K. Cagatay on January 18, 2006

Mmmm, I'm starving. Does anyone have some Dorito? So subtle I didn't even notice, neat.

29Posted by Marc on January 18, 2006

Don't forget the "iPod" that Pam was supposed to get for Christmas. It turned out to be a Prism DuroSport. Man those things are ugly.

30Posted by Vida on April 23, 2006

[...] Great music at a reasonable price. eMusic currently offers several subscription rates beginning at $9.99 per month for 40 downloads. That’s around 25 cents per track. The price is cheaper if you opt for a plan with more downloads, or pre-pay a year in advance. I recently pre-paid for a mega-plan that cuts my cost per download to 17 cents. That’s not much more than those shady Russian mp3 sites that Dwight is always talking about. [...]

31Posted by That’s What I Like: eMusic | Medialoper on November 20, 2006